In this episode, we challenge the all-or-nothing mindset around decluttering and organizing. Not everyone is a minimalist, and not every item needs to go in a donation bag to count as progress. We explore the emotional and personal work of deciding what to keep—not just what to toss—and why organizing is ultimately about awareness and alignment with the life you’re building today.
This is a gentle reminder that organizing with intention doesn’t have to mean constant letting go. Sometimes, it starts with simply asking the right question: What still deserves a place in my life right now?
In this episode we talk about:
- Why organizing doesn’t always mean throwing things away
- The importance of clarity, not speed, in the decluttering process
- A mindset shift from “What should I toss?” to “What do I want to keep?”
Mentioned in this Episode:
- A seasonal mindset check-in: embracing where you are right now
- The emotional work behind identity and organizing
- Weekly organizing nudges from the Organize & Cherish newsletter
Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast
Review Transcript:
Hey friends. Welcome back to Organize and Cherish the podcast where we take a compassionate and practical approach to organizing, decluttering and downsizing and everything that comes with it, including preserving the stuff that tells the story of our lives. In today's episode is for anybody that has ever felt torn between wanting to be more organized and also wanting to honor those memories that I just talked about.
Maybe it's your identity that you would like to figure out as you go along and and see what your evolving style is. So that's what we're talking about today. So if you've ever heard someone say, just get rid of it and felt a lot of anguish and a knot in your stomach, this one is for you. So. Let's first begin really quick with a quick reminder that being organized is a practice rooted in awareness, not in how many donation bags you fill this month or what goes in the trash.
So that is our friendly reminder that that is what our belief is here at the Organized Flamingo, because we have seen that that works and for our community, that is really important. Take that into consideration as you listen to today's episode. So here we go.
Welcome to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the organized Flamingo. I am your host Stephanie, your compassionate and deficient professional organizer. Whether you are part of the sandwich generation helping a loved one declutter, or just trying to simplify life, this is the place for you. Together we will tackle those overwhelming piles of stuff, uncover purpose in what we keep, and let go with dignity and care, because it's not just about throwing everything away, it's about respecting memories and simplifying life.
Sound like a plan? Let's jump in and get organized. Okay. First. I'd like to start with a gentle reframe, so let's take a breath together here because this is important. We're not doing it wrong if you're not filling bags of donations every week. I think that's a big misconception that being organized is measured by how much you've gotten rid of lately.
And including and or you know, in the trash, or you gave away or you sold. So this could be any type of let go and that that is what organizing is and means. And so I have clients, community members, and I have felt it myself that if I'm not letting go of something, I'm not an organized person or that I, a quote unquote hot mess express because I'm not constantly in this letting go pattern.
And I think that's really unhealthy. Let's do a little bit of a, a gentle reframe, right? That being organized is a practice as we always talk about. It's a habit that's rooted in awareness. It's that awareness of what's around you and the awareness of what matters and the awareness of who you are right now and who you are becoming.
And so that's why this work can feel emotional sometimes, because it's not just about the bins, and it's not just about the labels, it's about the identity in your identity, your style, your values, the transitions you're making, and that's no small work. So if you've been consuming the message that organizing equals throwing things away, it can feel like there's no room left to pause and ask deeper questions.
So that's what I wanna talk about and dive more into. But I wanted us to take a little bit of a breath and just remind ourselves that organizing does not mean letting go and decluttering if you're in a decluttering state of mind. Of course that is the big goal. But will it be sustainable? Well, it will be if you're more aware.
And that's what we are going to talk a little deeper here together in the next couple of minutes. So what do you actually want to keep? Instead of starting with, what should I toss? Maybe ask yourself some of these questions. If you are feeling like you are in this perpetual letting go and nothing is ever good enough, or clean enough or tidy enough, and you're just always, you're just not feeling good about your space, these are really good questions to ask yourself.
Instead of the, what should I give away? What should I toss, what should I give, throw away, or donate or sell or get rid of or declutter. Okay. So you're going to be asking things like, what do I want to hold onto? What makes me feel most like me right now? What still deserves a space in the life I'm building?
So going forward. So right now it's what part of my past do I want to, hold on. We have lots of episodes talking about past and memories and how to be a storyteller in your own life going forward. Then we talk about the present. Okay, where am I right now and what do I need right now? This is really big, especially, uh, well, in any part of your home and, and your stuff.
But in the, when you're buying duplicates and you, you're buying for the what if, or for the future. And that, you know, you be, you start realizing, oh wait, you know what? Right now I'm not a baker, I'm not a knitter, I'm not a collection collector of stamps and you know, right in the right now. And therefore, why am I buying these things that support that life, imaginary life that I'm not living right now?
Same thing with the future. What are you building? Do the items align with the life you're building? This is really big with when you are buying things. When you're out in the store and you're, you know, you're, you're more buying to fulfill something that you're going through or to, you know, you, you just, you just, you like to shop, you like to buy.
You are trying to solve a very quick problem and not thinking about, well, does this align with what I'm trying to build going forward? So those are the questions that will lead to that clarity and awareness. And not the rushed kind of clarity either, but the kind that comes from within, the kind that helps you keep the items, stories, or objects that align with who you are and gently releases that what doesn't.
When you are ready, which is really important when you're ready, is one of the key elements of that success going forward to sustain that organized life. 'cause organizing is not just about keeping up with someone else's pace. It's about moving at your own rhythm. One thoughtful decision at a time, which is what we talk about all the time here.
Hi, cherish friends. Life can get overwhelming, especially when you're juggling caregiving, clutter and everything in between. That's why I created the Organizing Cherish Weekly email that goes out every Wednesday straight to your inbox. To help you keep the momentum inspiration going with tips and reminders of our upcoming events, all you have to do is head on over to organize and cherish.com and sign up for the email newsletter.
It's free and you can up subscribe whenever you'd like. It's my way of helping you simplify your life and respecting memories along the way. Now, back to our show. So how can you keep with intention? Well, I, I wanna say something really clear here is that keeping with intention is just as powerful as letting go, and I want you to remember that because when we go through some of these exercises of how to keep with intention, it might feel, well, for some, it might feel very emotional, very counterintuitive, very too fru, too positive type of psychology.
But. I want you to really dig deep and see what type of person you are. I have a wonderful friend of years, you know, decades at this point, and she is a type of person after walk, uh, talking to her mental health professional and therapist and, and just getting to know herself is that she needs to hear.
The push. And you know how in the gym or if you're training for something, you have a coach that is more compassionate or more, you know, gentle. And then you've got the, the coach that is more, uh, uh, on the, I don't wanna say aggressive, but that they're just like to push you and there's just less of that loving tender, uh, TLC, you know, tender less love or just like, there's less of that caring piece.
But it works for some people as long as it's all what good in intentioned. Of course, you know, we're not talking about abusive behavior here. But that's the same mentality here when it comes to your step. Some people like to hear the positive in it, and that is where intention is going to be really important for you.
You are going to try to keep that in the front of your mind and have a really strong goal and really strong intentions and, and the letting go is more of the secondary. For some of you, you need to know what you're letting go of. You need to shed some of those layers figuratively, literally. And that's what works for you.
So that's what I'm talking about with intention is just as powerful as letting go. So sometimes the bravest, like the most organized thing that you can do is to hold something in your hand and turn it over and say, yes, this still matters to me. I know we're very familiar with a more trendy Marie Kondo style of, does this bring me joy?
It's a very similar process. It's been around for decades, um, well before her. And if the, if this brings me joy mentality works for you, awesome. Follow that. But it's that very, a very similar, but this goes a little bit deeper with the making sure you're keeping stuff with intention, not just joy, because there's some things that.
We need to keep very intentional, but it doesn't necessarily bring us joy. Or we might be making decisions for other people, whether it's a family member, whether it's children that you, that still live in your home or parents or you're a caregiver. So sometimes you do have to be step outside and understand if this matters to you and the life that you're le leading.
Um, but they don't always have to bring you joy. And I, I, I completely get that. So that's not clutter, that's clarity. That's making a decision. So not out of guilt, but out of awareness, out of love. Maybe it's out of confidence in your own voice. So this is a season of reclaiming your voice when it comes to your space of asking, what do I want to surround myself with?
Because sometimes someone else's version of that organized, it really shouldn't pressure you out of alignment with your own values. They're not le leading or living your life. So I do want you to try to get yourself more in a bubble of your own values for this process. For the process of what do I want around in my home?
How do I want it to reflect myself, my future self? What memories do I want to hold onto? So be really intentional. On that note, here's something I've been thinking about as I walk through stories and either stories that I'm, I, I see on the interweb, social media, maybe even stores when I'm walking around that yes, I see the Halloween displays, but no, I'm not putting away my swimsuit yet.
Like when I'm recording this, we're still in the, in the middle of summer and you can love fall. It's a little bit actually past. That Summer Midsummer 4th of July here, independence Day in the US season. And so right immediately after that, you see, or you hear whether it's social media or physical stores, uh, you start getting inundated with the fall decor, um, storyline.
Okay. And, and I, and every season I always send a reminder to our community and say, don't forget they're on a business timeline. Meaning they need to, they have ordered, they have shipped, ordered and brought in all of their merchandise a long time ago. 'cause they need a runway to prepare you psychologically and for their, for the buying power.
So you have enough time to look at it, get adjusted and start buying. But there. Goals and their timeline is not yours. Yours is just everyday living. Theirs is a very specific business model. Okay? So that's why, you know, right now, that's on top of my, my, my mind. But this happens all the time. Right after the fall, we start looking not even right after the fall, right?
Before fall even starts, we start getting inundated with the holiday stuff, but the winter stuff, right? And then the cycle continues and continues. So I'm not putting away my swimsuit until I'm ready in my own timeline. You can love, like for instance, for me, I can love fall and I can still fully live in summer.
Both things can be true. So this is where I get to ask you, where are you in your seasonal frame of mind? Are you still enjoying whatever season right now you're in? But slowly shifting into what that next season will be. This is really big if you're a caregiver, right? Um, you always have to kind of plan ahead for what's coming.
That might be leading in giving you like that anxiety feeling of always having to be on top of your game and never getting to enjoy the moment. Whatever that answer is, let's honor it. But just remember that there's no need to rush into any season of whether or organizing, just because the world says it's time.
You get to make that decision for you and that intentionality is going to help you. Figure out what you keep, what you let go of, and start the process of really being intentional with the step that is around you. Now, of course, if you need a little bit of help, a little bit of that push, if you are overwhelmed with the amount and number of stuff that is around you, hire a professional to do this.
Hire an assistant to do this so that they can help you move forward because you can't take it on all on your own. We have many episodes about this. About this topic, should you do it yourself? Should you hire help? Not because we are pro hiring, helping, having you spend the money, but it's more because you are limited of with your time, uh, and your resources.
It's just the way it is. So I want to make sure that your resources are where you want to. Where you want to actually put your resources in, if that makes sense. So if you want to spend more time with your loved ones, then you will need to hire someone to come in and expedite the process of decluttering or organizing or moving stuff around so you can get to spend time with your loved ones.
But if you are the type of person that you enjoy doing all this stuff. Then maybe you hire somebody to help your loved ones with their stuff, you know? So we just wanna make sure, and I just, I'm always here to remind you that we are limited in the resources that you can put into your organizing and decluttering downsizing projects.
Okay? So choose wisely and with intention. So that's really kind of the, the memo and the reminder for today. If we are looking for a week for a nudge for this week, let's start by asking the questions. What do I want to hold onto? What deserves a space in my home right now, what's still worthy of my time, energy, and attention, because you don't have to do it all.
You don't have to do it fast. You just have to keep showing up for yourself and get the momentum going. Okay? One drawer, one decision, one breath at a time. Thank you for listening to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the Organized Flamingo. If you enjoy today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you left a rating and review on your favorite podcast player.
It helps others discover our show. For full show notes, resources, and more organizing inspiration, visit www.theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast. Until next time, happy organizing.