Legacy boxes often hold more emotional weight than we expect. In this episode, we walk you through what actually happens when those boxes finally get opened. From surprise and overwhelm to relief and clarity. We share what we consistently see as a professional organizer, how to identify which boxes to start with, and practical systems that help people make progress without regret, guilt, or perfectionism.
In This Episode, We Talk About
- What’s typically found inside legacy boxes
- Why perfection keeps people stuck
- Decision categories that work in real life
- How to assess bandwidth before making decisions
- Why progress often looks smaller than expected
Mentioned in This Episode
- Organize & Cherish Podcast
- Year of the Storage Rooms series
Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast
Review Transcript:
 Welcome back to Organize and Cherish. I'm Stephanie, and today we're doing something specific within our storage year and organizing your storage rooms and or storage spaces. We're getting into the boxes and more specifically the legacy boxes. So this isn't the curated memory bins, and it's not your Pinterest version of legacy storage.
I mean the, the boxes that have been moved more times that you can count. The one stacked in a basement, a closet, a garage, or a storage unit, and labeled dad's things, grandma's memories, family stuff, or nothing at all. But you know very well that those boxes hold a lot of sentiment and sentimental feelings around the stuff.
Sure, it might be worth something monetarily or in value, but it's mainly about the value of emotion. And what you are holding onto with those emotions. Okay? So we're calling those the legacy boxes, and if you have them, you already know they carry more weight than their size would suggest. It could just be a one little chest type of box that you can very easily hold and put in the corner, or this can be bins, like 27 gallon bins, the really big bins, right, that have been piling up that somehow you either acquired, they were given to you or you asked for the stuff, and now it's just been piling up.
So this episode is dedicated to those legacy boxes. We're going to talk about systems that I think could work for these types of items and stuff. I'm going to talk about systems that I have seen work in the past with very specific examples, and it's not about doing what's right or wrong. Okay? We, you, I think if you're, you've been here for a hot minute, you know that at the organized flamingo, we are not here to shame how much stuff you have.
It's going to be about thoughtful, intentional keeping. And organizing, decluttering and living with the stuff that is making you happy. But also it's, uh, it's a healthy form of expressing yourself in your home, in your space, because not everything that you keep, especially in the legacy boxes category.
It's necessarily healthy. Okay. We won't dig too much into the psychology piece or the family dynamics piece, but I will give you some things to think about. Okay. So that from a professional organizer standpoint, what I have seen work, but also have it be long lasting. So that's kind of my, my goal for you to have, do yes, be intentional and to be surrounded by the stuff that you love, appreciate, without the guilt, without as much of the guilt as possible.
For it to also be a good relationship and healthy relationship with your stuff because when you have so much stuff that you don't even know what it it it is or it's hazardous or it's bringing traumatic thoughts to you or from the past, it's just memories are not the ones that you want to be living in right now.
That might not be a healthy relationship with your stuff, and that could be a really good reason to think about doing something else with this stuff. That being said, there's also the joyous piece, right? With legacy stuff that you do want to keep it, that you love it, it, every time you open it, every time you remember that you have it, it makes you happy, but you just don't know what to do with it.
You're stuck. You're, you're kind of in this limbo or you're not able to step away from it enough to see how it can work in your space. Okay? So we're gonna talk about both, both of those at everything else in between. This is all about opening the box and dealing with what's actually inside. We're gonna take some action and not try to be perfect about it.
So here we go.
Welcome to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the organized Flamingo. I am your host Stephanie, your compassionate and efficient professional organizer. Whether you are part of the sandwich generation helping a loved one declutter, or just trying to simplify life, this is the place for you. Together we will tackle those overwhelming piles of stuff, uncover purpose in what we keep, and let go with dignity and care, because it's not just about throwing everything away.
It's about. Affecting memories and simplifying life. Sound like a plan? Let's jump in and get organized. So one of the first things that I notice when someone finally opens a legacy box is the surprise slash shock slash. Overwhelm, immediate overwhelm, so it can be hidden within those three emotions.
Sometimes it's a surprise because truly it's been years, or they were inherited, they were given to the person and they really didn't even know what was in there. They kind of knew that it was family stuff, legacy stuff, but they didn't know exactly what, so there's a surprise. There's also the kind of that shock of, oh wow, that that's there.
Okay. And then there's the overwhelm, which is the, okay. Yes. I, I, I kind of knew what was in here, and this is why I didn't open them, because I'm, I'm overwhelmed. I don't know where to start. I don't know what this stuff is worth. Um, oh my goodness. Some stuff is broken now, and this just panic, overwhelm, anxiety feeling is associated with opening.
So that's one of the first things that I will always notice, like that emotion when someone feels opening the boxes. To me, it's not as an observer, it's not because I am y you know, just curious or, um, because it really means anything too, too deep. But for me, it will kind of tell me the story and the history in that emotion, like in a very quick second, it'll tell me, okay, this is what you have been dealing with for so long, and let's go ahead and start where you are right now with the feeling you have right now.
Try to remedy that as much as possible. It won't be perfect. The feelings won't go away, but at least let's get us to a as neutral place as possible so that we can make intentional decisions about the stuff and they're not so emotional. That you will regret it later because that is the worst feeling ever to regret that you threw away all the pictures or your dad's uniform from when he was in the military or when he, you know, won a great prize.
And you, you know, that's gone forever. Especially we come across videos and, and pictures. That's a big one. Baby stuff, kid stuff. So the list goes on, right? So we're trying to avoid the regret that might come later. So to have that neutrality as much as possible as you're going through it is healthy. But I also know that's hard.
Easier said than done. It's very hard for people to get to that place. So to go back to how I started this, this part of, uh, the podcast is that that feeling that I notice is something that I hope that you can either see within yourself, identify within yourself. So that's like, almost like a tip number one.
Or if you're helping a loved one go through this and declutter and organize their legacy boxes. Take note. Be an observer for a minute and see what feelings came up as they were opening these boxes, because that will tell you the history. Of what they've been having to deal with, why they've been avoiding these boxes.
And we can start there and we can start neutralizing that feeling as much as possible so that we can make progress. Because if we try to criticize that feeling or ignore it or. Tell if you are helping someone else or even yourself, if you're trying to convince yourself that that is not a feeling like that is not okay to feel that way, it's not okay to feel so anxious when you open it.
It's not okay to feel so mad or angry about it, or surprised. Then you will now be dealing with trying to convince yourself of something you're truly not feeling, and I don't want that for you because then we just will go around in circles. And now that is more in the mental health space, and now we need to talk through that feeling with a professional.
I would almost say that if you're, if you're seeing yourself go through those circles over and over, go ahead and talk to someone that is a therapist or someone that can help you with talk therapy to process those feelings. So, because if not, again, we're gonna go around in circles, so if you're able to neutralize it, that will be a huge win.
And almost like tip number one, as much as possible. Now how do we neutralize those feelings? How do we come back? Just kind of not have those intense feelings when you open that stuff, if you see. That any of these emotions have come up, identify them. Yes. Call them out for what they are. But then I'm going to go ahead and have you open as many of the boxes as possible.
And the one that gives you that emotion the least is the one we're going to start with. They don't all hold the same level of surprise, sadness, or um, anxiety or overwhelm. Okay? They will all have a different level just naturally, because some of it might be what we like to call sometimes low hanging fruit, right?
So we're gonna start with that one so you can start practicing. How to regulate the emotions that are associated with the stuff you are about to go through so that we can make intentional decisions about keeping it, letting it go, selling it, donating it, or throwing it away. So. Identify the feeling. Then from there, we're going to open as all the boxes in whichever ones hold the least amount of emotion.
Like really heavy emotion is the one we're going to start with because we wanna practice the action of letting go and or intentional keeping. That muscle needs to be practiced. And if you haven't done this in years, in a really long time, you haven't gone into the storage room in a really long time, you have not practiced this.
So it will be a shock to your system, to your memory, to your heart. So I want you to go ahead and practice that. Okay. Now, let me give you a couple examples of what I have seen to see, you know, if this, you can relate to all of this, but also to, to show you that you're not alone then how people have dealt with it, and then kind of how we've navigated through this first, these first two tips, right?
Uh, because we'll find things like photos, like the loose ones, the curled up ones duplicates a lot of that, papers that feel important but haven't been read in years. Those are avoidance, uh, that starts to creep up into the hoarding realm. Especially if you have, you keep accumulating it. Now, if it's stuff fr that you've inherited or legacy boxes for memory sake, there could be feelings trapped in those box, literally and figuratively speaking.
So again, we do wanna talk it through. We want to talk to a professional about this in the mental health space. But if you're already done that and you're ready to let go. Think about the items that someone has wrapped up carefully, and no one even remembers why they were wrapped up in the first place.
Okay, so those are examples of what I mean by, oh, you know what? I don't even remember why this is here. Who wrapped it, who it belonged to? We have a lot of those examples. People that know that it belonged to their family, they just don't know exactly what side of the family was it? Mom's side, dad's side, um, grandma's side.
My neighbor is the one that took care of me and they, you know, gave me all this stuff from their family, and it's not necessarily my immediate family, and I didn't know them, but it comes from someone that I cherished very much. But now I don't even know where or how it, how does this fall into my life?
You know? So that's the kind of stuff. That I'm talking about that might be a low hanging fruit. That might be easier because you don't have memory or recollection yourself to where this stuff came from. So that, and if you're keeping it because you think it might be valuable someday we're going to, we're going to attack that immediately.
We're going to go ahead and take that stuff to the side and make decisions, put a timeline in it because there's no emotional tie to it. There's no memory that's coming up for you outside of, I know it kind of belongs to this family member, this side of the family, this part of town that I lived in. Um, but that's it.
It doesn't go deeper than that. Or again, like the, the pictures that you don't even know who. Who's in the picture? Like you, you, there's all these black and white pictures. They feel expensive, they feel vintage, antique, and wow, this is, this is part of your history, but you don't even know who it is. So is it part of your history or did it come in a picture frame that your mom had and you think it's your family member?
But it was really a picture frame that she bought and it was the, the one that came with the frame. And these people are just models or people that, um, the. Picture frame company putting into their frames, and it has nothing to do with your family, right? So if you don't have a connection like that, then we're going to attack those boxes and those bins first and make decisions outta that.
And we have art categories like we always do, which is to keep to let go. But the let go is, do you want to sell it? Do you wanna donate it? Do you wanna give it to someone you love and or in your family, pass it down, give someone else an opportunity to take it before you release it or throw it away. And then of course, like the keep box will remain to the side.
Now, this is where systems come into play. The one I would suggest the most probably, if I'm just making kind of a, an overall suggestion here without knowing your particular story or your brain type or your own system you've got going on, really have seen a big success with the. You have the categories of keep let go, and then the let go have has all its other tentacles, right?
They're branches like let go, like donate, let go, throw away, let go sell, let go to a loved one, pass it down, right? And then you make decisions from there. So immediately I would set that up in the keep pile though. The, I think I want to keep it, I also want you to separate the ones that you want to keep because you want to display it at some point.
It kind of calls you. It's like it, you want it, you want it to be part of your life in some way. You are attracted to it. You like it, it's your style, but you're not sure how. And then the other category of keeping is going to be, I'm keeping because I think it's worth something. Monetarily or value of value, uh, um, excuse me, emotional value.
So if you think that, you know what I, I, I don't know where this came from in our family, but I remember a story, something, something, something, and let me do some more research. Let me take some pictures and put it up on this group that I belong to of family members back in wherever, you know. Kind of like the research of value, but you're not necessarily wanting or needing to keep it for your own personal taste to display very different sections of the keep.
And when you do label those bins very specifically, it gives you action and tasks to follow up on as opposed to just everything's back in a bay and all mixed up in one and you don't even know why you kept it. Why did you, did you mean to keep this because your. Taste might change a year from now when you go and revisit these very organized boxes that we're going through today in this exercise.
But in a year from now, if you don't clearly label what your intention was, we might fall under this trap again. So I want you to set, I want to set you up for success so that the next time you do address the, uh, value stuff that you kept and or you want to display, we will have some action tied to that.
Okay. So those are kind of the categories that I would suggest at at first thought, and I have seen work really well. Then you can have, from there you can alter, um, the best system that works for you. Um, we can, you know, talk a million ways to go from there, but I would start there. If you don't have a system already, hi, cherish friends.
Life can get overwhelming, especially when you're juggling caregiving, clutter and everything in between. That's why I created the Organized and Cherish weekly email. That goes out every Wednesday straight to your inbox to help you keep the momentum inspiration going with tips and reminders of our upcoming events.
All you have to do is head on over to organize and cherish.com and sign up for the email newsletter. It's free and you can up subscribe whenever you'd like. It's my way of helping you simplify your life and respecting memories along the way. Now back to our show. Okay, so now let's talk about a few other emotions I have seen come up that you might be having in combination with your primary one, right, which is like the shock or overwhelming, all the, all those sadness, anger, all the things.
There's a moment when some people will say, I thought there would be more, or, oh, okay. It's almost this shock, overwhelm, but also relief of, oh. When I kept this stuff years ago, I was a very different person than I am now. Those are big aha moments. Those are sometimes the moments that come to you when you have a body, double person, coach, organizer, friend, neighbor with you, because now you, not just with yourself, you're you.
You're processing it out loud, but also when you have someone there for accountability. Because you're ready to open these, it's, it almost gives you that permission to, to start really making intentional decisions with this stuff. It's no longer just in your head going around and around and trying to move bins around just for the sake of it.
Now you're making decisions based off of, okay, I'm ready. I'm here. Like you're here with me. I've made an appointment to do this. I'm ready to take action. And when you open it, this realization of. Yes, I'm, I'm a little anxious. I'm mad, I am sad, you know, a little bit of overwhelm, overwhelmed for the person that I have lost or has gone or have moved, you know, not always gone from our lives.
Maybe they just moved and it was a time when they lived in your childhood home and you know, all the feelings. Okay. The secondary to that might be relief of, oh my gosh, I actually don't need this stuff anymore. Also in contrast to that, it can be, oh my gosh, this is way harder than I ever thought. So we're gonna talk about those two now.
Okay. If you're having knee. Initial shock and all the things we talked about already with the sub feeling of, oh my gosh, this is all crap. Or I don't even like this. Why did I keep this? Or, I'm so over this person. Um, at this point, you know, they're, yeah, I've, I've done the therapy work, I've done the health mental health checks.
I don't need any of these chain letters, love letters, whatever they may be from a loved one. Right. Then great. Let's go ahead and make. A plan with your accountability person. Um, usually again, it's with someone because it's holding you accountable and let's go ahead and do something obviously with you can.
Um, as long as it's responsible recycle. If you are allowed to have like a, a controlled burn, you know, your fireplace, et cetera, you do whatever you have to do that's responsible and not hazardous. Right? And so that will take care of that part if you're in the other category of, oh my gosh. This is really hard.
I need to close this back up again. We are going to take note of that and take some kind of action. If you are having kind of more of the, like the mental health piece where it's bringing up trauma, it's bringing hurt, hate, or any of like these negative emotions that are really heavy, either again because you've had 'em before or they're brand new, let's go ahead and treat those boxes.
As a mental health check with your provider. Okay? We're not going to try to pretend to organize and declutter and put 'em in. Put them in pretty boxes and shadow boxes, and take pictures and do a scrapbook of them like you thought you would. Or if they're bigger pieces or furniture pieces, you wanted to display them and have a really fun retro room.
We're not going to pretend to do that because. If you do that, then all these emotions will come back again, and we don't want to feel hurt with the stuff that is around us. Okay. That's how I would suggest that you treat both of those. What is hard is not always the stuff itself, it's the pressure people put on themselves once the box is open because, so sometimes it, it just like, suddenly it feels like you're saying to yourself, if I start this, I have to finish.
If I touch this, I need to know what to do with all of it. If I don't keep everything, I'm doing something wrong. And so we want to try to avoid that as much as possible and come from a really neutral place because none of that is true. Legacy boxes don't need a big emotional moment. And I'd love, I, I would always like, I would love to put that in a billboard.
I think people feel like they're keeping these emotional boxes because they want to revisit these big emotional feelings, but that's not always the healthy thing to do. That's not always a responsible thing to do, and those feelings might have subsided over the years. So when you open it, that's no longer the case.
So what you thought would be a big emotional moment doesn't have to be or nor should it be okay. And if it should, then we need to take a different approach and talk to a mental health provider that can help you deal with that. It comes a lot. Um, this comes up a lot with baby items from your children.
If you had a loss with any family member or people or person you loved, a friend, a loved one, a relation, past relationships that were really traumatic. And so we're not just going to make decisions based off of, you know, quick decisions unless you're ready for them, because I don't want you to associate legacy boxes with big emotional moments.
It shouldn't be the case. And if it is, then it's a different path that we need to be on. Okay. But they do need to be honest and manageable decisions in a neutral space. Then we get into the fun part. Okay. The fun part of getting some systems that will work, you know, the keep and toss, um, and then the toss.
Having all these different branches that we talked about at the beginning of the podcast. If you're keeping, I would have D two, at least two categories in the keeping. Again, it's the keeping because you think it's of some value, uh, financial or or emotional value to you. And then the other category is.
Because you want to keep it. It doesn't matter if it's not worth anything. You like it, you just don't know where to go from here. And so we're gonna separate the two. If they fall under both, feel, if there's enough stuff that falls into both, I'm talking more than five things. Create its own bin and label it very clearly so that you know to take action from there.
Okay? So before we end the podcast, um, for today's episode, I, I just wanna remind you of a couple things in the Legacy boxes side, um, to have it be a successful decluttering and organizing journey for you. One, you do not have to preserve everything equally. The idea alone keeps so many people stuck, because preservation doesn't mean saving everything forever.
It means deciding what actually carries a story forward in your life now, because when I work with clients, I encourage them to think very simply as they go through the box. Not overly categorizing to death like it has to fit into, you know, subcategories of subcategories because then we just feel lost and you won't remember those subcategories.
Uh, we don't wanna sort into 12 piles. We don't, you know, 24 little, little bins unless it's a very clear intention that you've already walked yourself through. Because you're going to take action. Otherwise, please don't go deeper than two to three categories. We've actually talked about this in a podcast before.
I am of the mindset that if you are putting things past three to four sub folders, if you're doing electronic organizing or paper organizing, or three, four bins, you are over categorizing and you will, you will get lost. For our action of the week, I'd love to encourage you to not just organize these legacy boxes by, you know, putting them up on a shelf, but to interact with them.
Touch what's inside, open it up. Notice what surprises you, seeing what feelings are coming up immediately. And if. You have any of the easy boxes, the low hanging fruit boxes, the ones that the emotion was more neutral. Those are the ones we will tackle. Okay? And to get you to a neutral place with your emotions as much as possible.
If you are not there, then we're going to explore either. Finding how to, like, how to get there. Like how do I get neutral with this stuff? Can I do this on my own? Do I need accountability from a, a friend, a partner, a coach? Or do I need to even go a little further and get a mental health provider to help me get unstuck, unblocked, talk about it and see if there's any way I can make that part of my progress with a mental health provider?
Okay. Because you, it's not fair to, to put this all on you, especially if you inherited the boxes and you don't even know what's in them. If you collected them yourself, and it was a choice you made, that also needs to be unpacked, no pun intended, but I want you to identify that so that you know which, how deep this goes, like how, how much help do I need through this process because I can't do it on my own.
Instead of getting yourself worked up and being so hard on yourself and feeling like you can't do this, but it might just mean that you can't do this alone, might just need a little help. But if you do have those low hanging fruit ones, the ones that you finally got to a neutral place with, then let's tackle those boxes, interact with them, open them up, and then go from there.
Everybody. Don't forget that we always have organized and cherish talks. The third Wednesday of the month at 10:00 AM Mountain in time. You can come talk to us about it. Let's process this together. I just get on a Zoom. It's super easy, free. No need to sign up for anything. It's just a place where we can process.
Your organizing and decluttering journey, especially if you're dealing with your storage rooms, legacy boxes, things that you've inherited. Uh, let's get you one step further to taking action so that you can live in a space that gives you calm, you're proud of, you're intentional about. You are excited to display and use some of this stuff, and it's not just a perpetual storage for stuff that you didn't even want to begin with.
Okay? So let's get outta that and welcome some peace into your lives. So until next time, happy organizing. Thank you for listening to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the Organized Flamingo. If you enjoy today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you left a rating and review on your favorite podcast player.
It helps others discover our show. For full show notes, resources, and more organizing inspiration, visit www.theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast. Until next time, happy organizing.