This week, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes. As we continue our year-long focus on storage areas, this replay from Episode 107 digs into one of the biggest reasons storage spaces get overwhelmed in the first place: inherited stuff. If you're caught between caring for aging parents and supporting younger generations, you're likely also the one holding the boxes, the heirlooms, and all the complicated feelings that come with them. We walk you through what it means to be part of the Sandwich Generation, why letting go feels so hard – especially in multicultural and multigenerational families – and practical strategies to move forward with intention rather than guilt.
In This Episode We Talk About
- What the Sandwich Generation is (and its three subsets: Traditional, Club, and Open-Faced) and why it matters for your home and your stuff
- Why do inherited items feel so emotionally heavy, particularly in multicultural and multigenerational families, where objects carry cultural and historical meaning
- Five strategies for tackling inherited clutter with intention: defining your goals, starting small, collaborating with family, honoring your culture, and repurposing with purpose
Mentioned in This Episode
- Compassionate Conversations Action Cards: email us at hello@theorganizedflamingo.com
- Upcoming Workshops: Live events to help you create an actionable plan for inherited items: www.theorganizedflamingo.com
- Episodes 71 & 72: The original two-part Sandwich Generation series (linked in show notes) for a deeper dive into the topic
Originally aired on February 3, 2025 as episode 107. While some of the links have changed, the content remains!
Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast
Review Transcript:
Stephanie [00:00:00]:
Hey friends, welcome to this week's episode.
Cherish [00:00:02]:
We have something very special planned for you this week. We are going to be replaying an episode from about last year titled How to Balance Family Tradition and Clutter and Organizing for the Sandwich Generation. And one of the reasons that we are doing a replay is because it complements what we're talking about this year, which is all about storage and dealing with your storage areas and decluttering. So it complements that topic. Very nicely. And so I'm bringing that over. What is a sandwich generation? Well, I will explain it in the episode. Okay.
Cherish [00:00:36]:
So it's all about if you are a caregiver in any way, shape, or form. So you might be caregiving for your elders and also younger generations. It could be family. It could be your friends or people that are your loved ones. And in, in, in kind of inheriting all of that stuff that comes with being in the middle. Sandwiched between different generations. And so instead of me trying to recreate the episode, I wanted to reintroduce it because it's really important as part of our organizing your storage areas for this entire year. It's very important because all of that stuff that you're inheriting has to go somewhere.
Cherish [00:01:15]:
And it always, almost always ends up in the storage rooms, which is what we're talking about this year, how to be more intentional, how to declutter, without feeling guilty, without feeling like you have to throw everything away, and also known as with intention, right? Having your storage in a little bit more order that makes sense to you and in your life. So I wanted to reintroduce this episode. Enjoy, and I will see you next week.
Stephanie [00:01:47]:
Welcome to the Organize and Cherish podcast with the Organized Flamingo. I am your host, Stephanie, your compassionate and efficient professional organizer. Whether you are part of the Sandwich Generation, helping a loved one declutter, or just trying to simplify life, this is the place for you. Together, we will tackle those overwhelming piles of stuff, uncover purpose in what we keep, and let go with dignity and care. Because it's not just about throwing everything away, it's about respecting memories and simplifying life. Sound like a plan? Let's jump in and get organized. Okay, so what is the sandwich generation? So it's simply put, it's a term for people who are caring for two generations at once. It could be an aging parent, so someone that's older in a different generation above the one that you are in, and then a younger one, most likely either your children or nephews or nieces, or anybody that is younger than you that is now living with you and you are now their caretaker.
Stephanie [00:02:52]:
You might be helping your parents navigate doctor appointments or managing their households while also raising your own kids, or even supporting adult children who have moved back home. This group spans a wide range of life stages, typically between people in their mid-30s and early 50s, but not always. That just seems to be where we are right now, but the sandwich generation does move with the ages. So it will always be people that are between the ages of the, you know, in the 30s and 50s, though it's not strictly defined by age. So just remember that what defines it is that feeling of being sandwiched between two generations who need your support emotionally, financially, and/or physically. There are also subsets of the sandwich generation. There's typically three. The traditional sandwich, which is caring for aging parents and younger kids and/or a similar family dynamic.
Stephanie [00:03:47]:
So it, it could be someone that took care of you, right? And they're older, or a friend or a loved one. And same thing with younger. If you don't have kids, it could be maybe you have a sibling that now your nephews and nieces, you're taking care of them. It could be someone that you are now taking care of, but generally older and younger, and you're in between. And that is the traditional sandwich. The club sandwich is those in their 50s and 70s caring for aging parents. So they're in their 50s and 70s, and then their parents are a little bit older than that. And then they have adult children and sometimes even grandchildren.
Stephanie [00:04:19]:
They either moved back home or they're in need of support in some emotional, financial, and physical way. And so now they're a club sandwich generation because they're, they're taking care of themselves, but those other groups need their assistance. And then we've got open-faced sandwich generation, which is the people providing elder care without a familiar tie, like close friends or neighbors. So that is— they're calling it open-faced sandwich, but sometimes they're called traditional sandwich, and they just don't get the label of whether they have— it's, you know, what kind of family tie it is. They're just kind of in the middle of two different generations. As a side note, this term was coined in and around 1981 by social worker Dorothy Miller and gerontologist Elaine Brody. It's become even more relevant today as lifespan, lifespan has increased, parenting happens later in life, and economic challenges create longer dependency for younger generations. So now that term has been adopted and more widely used.
Stephanie [00:05:23]:
Now let's add another layer, which is the multigenerational and multicultural families. These dynamics bring both richness and complexity to the conversation. In multigenerational households, you're not just managing responsibilities, you're balancing different traditions, expectations, and ways of life. So for example, you might be juggling your parents' cultural values about preserving family heirlooms while trying to create a practical modern space for your own family. And then for multicultural families, this can mean navigating deeply rooted traditions tied to belongings. Whether it's religious artifacts, heirlooms, or keepsakes, these items often carry profound meaning. And the challenge here lies in honoring these traditions while also creating a manageable and functional home. In this type of family dynamic, there's quite a bit of guilt associated with, well, what do I keep, what I don't keep.
Stephanie [00:06:21]:
Many of these multi-generational and multicultural families brought their heirlooms and their stuff with them from whatever country or area they're from, and that they had to pay the price for that. And so for them, this is a, this is a very big deal to let go of items that reminds them of their past because they brought it as their only thing from back home. And so it can be a very hard and difficult thing to let go of. And also for you, even if you didn't bring it here, there is also the guilt for you and also the appreciation on the other side where, well, I have it here and I want my children or other generations to know about this that my loved ones brought from wherever home was. And so there is that difficulty of, well, what should I keep and what should I not keep? So there's those added elements to the sandwich generation discussion. Hi, cherished friends. Life can get overwhelming, especially when you're juggling caregiving, clutter, and everything in between. That's why I created the Organize and Cherish weekly email.
Stephanie [00:07:25]:
That goes out every Wednesday straight to your inbox to help you keep the momentum, inspiration going with tips and reminders of our upcoming events. All you have to do is head on over to organizeandcherish.com and sign up for the email newsletter. It's free and you can unsubscribe whenever you'd like. It's my way of helping you simplify your life and respecting memories along the way. Now back to our show. So why does the stuff feel overwhelming? So let's talk about the physical side of this— the stuff. When you're in the sandwich generation, you're not just juggling schedules and responsibilities, you're also inherited items from loved ones. Maybe it's your parents' dining room set, your grandparents' fine china, or boxes of keepsakes your kids no longer want to store.
Stephanie [00:08:14]:
These items can be overwhelming because they carry memories, emotions and sometimes guilt. And you might feel torn because keeping everything is special and you want to, but you also don't want things to drown in clutter. Like, you're just physically and seeing it, and you can, you can physically and see it around you, and that can be very heavy. And if you're in a multicultural or a multi-generational family, those feelings can intensify because these items often represent more than just objects, right? They're symbols of history and heritage. So how do we handle this? Here are some of our strategies that we would like to offer to help and that have worked in the past with clients or people that we have worked with. So this is a list. It's not a list that may work for everyone, but as you listen through what I'm about to say, see if some of these things are resonating. Of course, you know, pick and choose the ones that are speaking to you.
Stephanie [00:09:12]:
So this isn't meant to be a list for you to check off. It's meant to be a series of things that, and strategies that I have seen work. And sometimes they need to all be practiced and implemented with your situation. And sometimes they need to be combined with just a few of them. So you just kind of pick based on what you think will work. Sometimes it's trial and error. Um, I don't have this podcast and our company and our agency and our work in our work. It's not about the magic.
Stephanie [00:09:43]:
Potion or the secret sauce. We do our best with what we've got, but we do know, and what we have in our pockets are different strategies and the experiences of what has actually worked with real people, not just on paper and not just, you know, these theories that could work. Like, so that's why I'm saying sometimes it's trial and error, and this is where either working with someone who has done this before may be of advantage because they'll see some patterns and help you through it. If you're doing this on your own, not a worry. Sometimes you just have to, you know, maybe start with a few of these strategies, and if they're not working, mix and match them. You know, take off one and then add another, and then eventually something will start to feel like it's working so that you can start managing the stuff that is around you. So let's talk about them. So the first one I want to talk about is to define your goals.
Stephanie [00:10:35]:
This one is really important. I, I know it can be cheesy. I know that sometimes you figure that, and, and it just feels like, okay, well, I don't know what my goal is. But not having a goal is also a goal, you know, just, okay, you know, I don't know what my goal is, I need to figure that out. And then you go on a journey to find out your goal. But you do need to have a goal. Ask yourself what you want from the space and these belongings. Are you trying to preserve memories? Are you trying to create functional spaces? Are you starting with a clean, clear vision? Are you trying to start over? Are you trying to incorporate some of these heirlooms into your everyday life, but you don't know how, because each of these goals will lead you to hire a very different skill set to help you.
Stephanie [00:11:18]:
So for instance, if you— your goal is not necessarily to throw everything away, you just want to make use of it. It's piling up in your basement, in your garage, in the boxes. It's piling up dust, and you actually want to use it. You're actually keeping it because you like it. You just don't know how to incorporate it. So you might need to be working with an interior designer if it's for your home, so they can help you figure out where it could be best used or visually the best, you know, would look the best. If it's some garments, if you're keeping items that your loved ones wore, you might need to be working with a tailor or a fashion stylist or someone that can help you style it, make it fit to your needs. If you are trying to get rid of some of this stuff but you don't know what will be worth some money, what's worth keeping long-term for, for its value, then you might need to hire an appraiser.
Stephanie [00:12:11]:
So the list goes on. So when you have a goal, then that will help you start narrow down what you need to do and not just necessarily throw it all away. Now, that might be the answer if you're trying to get rid of it all, but it's just so much and you don't know where it can go. Then, you know, then that's a different type of strategy that we need to deal with. So define your goals. Number 2, prioritize. Begin with the small manageable areas, as we always like to say. Starting small will also help you build momentum without feeling overwhelmed.
Stephanie [00:12:43]:
That's really why we talk so much about prioritizing and starting small, because once you start to exercise that part of your executive function skill, then it'll get easier and easier when you start tackling the bigger and more sentimental items. Our next strategy is to collaborate and get family members involved. Host a family sorting day where everyone can share stories, make decisions, and find closure together. This is very important when it comes to families that have multiple generational generations and/or people are living in different places. So somebody might be the executor or someone might, you know, be the person in charge, but you're trying, you don't, you, you would like to have everyone involved because there's quite a bit of, you know, grandkids or people that might want to have some of the stuff of, of a loved one that was left behind. So if you're trying to figure that out, the collaboration is really important. Nowadays we have so many great tools that you can use, like everything everything from virtual online video conferencing. You've got it on your phone, you've got it on, you know, Google has its video conferencing, you've got Zoom, you can do a Zoom free event.
Stephanie [00:13:50]:
If you have a paid one, amazing. So those are just some ways you can do some collaborations. You can also hire someone to inventory everything. And then from that spreadsheet or from those pictures that the people took, then you can maybe make it a game or make it a family night or make it something that is collaborative, fun, compassionate but does not overwhelm you so that you feel like you're doing it all by yourself. So don't forget to collaborate.
Cherish [00:14:18]:
Honor your culture.
Stephanie [00:14:20]:
So respect the traditions tied to certain items. Don't be afraid of doing that so that you can learn about it. So for example, if heirlooms can't be kept, consider documenting them through photos or videos to preserve their history. There's a couple of apps that I always recommend. Just let me know if you need some recommendations. But some are free, some are not. But basically, don't feel bad about wanting to keep items alive. That is a perfectly understandable emotion and feeling.
Stephanie [00:14:49]:
And if that's what's keeping you from simplifying, let's find a way that you can honor that thing, that item, in a different way so that it doesn't occupy space. Especially if you have to get rid of it, or if it really truly is just not your thing. It's ugly, to be frank, but the memory is not ugly, or the meaning behind it is not ugly. It's just that the item is. So let's figure out how to honor your culture, not feel bad about that, but how you can do it in a different way that will also help you simplify and do this in an efficient manner. The last strategy I have for you is to create a— the purpose. Repurpose or rehome items in ways that align with your family's needs. So that's where kind of values, purpose comes in.
Stephanie [00:15:31]:
For instance, could that old dining table become a desk for a family member? Yes, you probably will need to pay someone to do that if you're not a handy person yourself. It might cost a couple hundred dollars, but it might be worth it because you didn't buy something new that didn't have meaning. It's actually being used, you repurposed, and there is meaning behind it, right? And so that could actually work long term. You might actually be using it long term without having to buy 2 or 3 more desks because there's no meaning behind it. Or could selling an item fund a family goal? I've had a couple of clients, what we, we talked about was the, the selling, or the auction in this case, um, the pro— the profits would go to the nonprofit that was very special to their loved one. So then they went and did that in honor of that person as a family gift, and it just ended up working. It could be a nonprofit, it could also not be. It could be you sell something, everything, and then create one thing that is really special to your family going forward, still building on that legacy.
Stephanie [00:16:36]:
But in a different format. So create a purpose, your values, make sure they're clear. And again, we go back to number 1, right? Like, what is your priority and what is your purpose for you trying to simplify all of these heirlooms and things that you are now having to downsize, declutter, and organize for a loved one? Okay, so that is our episode for this week. Pretty simple, but some strategies attached to it so it's not overwhelming. What I'm going to do is instead of doing the replay of episodes, uh, the first part and the second part of the Sandwich Generation, because I talk in length about the Sandwich Generation from the episode that I talked about, you know, in 2024, I think it's still worth a listen. It was when we were still Organized and Productive with the Organized Flamingo. That was the name back then. So now we're a different name.
Stephanie [00:17:27]:
It's still the same series. But I don't want you to get too confused. So instead of me putting those episodes as a repeat here, I'm putting them in the show notes. So after you listen to this week's episode, if you still want to get more inspiration, learn more about the Sandwich Generation, see how you fit into it, how it can help you figure out what to do with all your stuff and relieve some of that stress, then head on over to the episode links that I put in the show notes, and that'll take you straight to episode 71 and 72. Okay, so before we wrap up, I want to remind you about a couple of resources that can help you on this journey. We have workshops coming up that are perfect if you're feeling overwhelmed by inherited items. Together, we'll create a plan that's actionable and easy to follow so you can move forward with clarity. Visit organizeandcherish.com/events for details, and don't forget to grab your free Compassionate Conversations action cards These are cards that are designed to help you navigate sensitive discussions about letting go of things with your loved ones.
Stephanie [00:18:35]:
So it kind of gives you some examples of what to say and what to do when you're faced with some of these very common discussion points from your loved ones, or maybe some resistance from them. Um, and then these will kind of navigate so that you know, or can be better prepared with what to do and what to say. All right. And you can download those over at organizeandcherish.com/ CC. I hope that today's episode has helped you feel seen, supported, and inspired. Whether you're managing piles of stuff or balancing the demands of multiple generations, remember that you're not alone, and together we can tackle the overwhelm, respect the memories, and find purpose in every decision. Until next time, happy organizing. Thank you for listening to the Organize and Cherish podcast with the Organized Flamingo.
Stephanie [00:19:22]:
If you enjoyed today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you left a rating and review on your favorite podcast player.
Cherish [00:19:28]:
It helps others discover our show.
Stephanie [00:19:30]:
For full show notes, resources, and more organizing inspiration, visit www.theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast. Until next time, happy organizing.