This we’re talking about the conversations that have to happen before real decisions can. When you walk into a storage room, you’re not just sorting through things, you’re navigating three very different kinds of dialogue. One with your current self, one with your past self, and one with your future self. And once you know which conversation you’re actually in, the whole process gets a whole lot more honest (and a whole lot more manageable).
In this episode, we talk about:
- Why do the decisions in a storage room feel harder than in any other space
- How to recognize which conversation you’re in — with your current life, your past self, or your future self
- Practical ways to move forward in each conversation with intention,
Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast
Review Transcript:
Picture this. You've cleared your schedule, you've got your coffee, you walk into the storage room with every intention of finally doing the thing, right? You even have your snacks and you pick up the first item, maybe it's the box of your kids' old art projects or a piece of equipment you bought when you were really going to get into that hobby or something that belonged to someone who isn't around anymore.
And then you just stand there. You don't know how to deal with it. Maybe you've suddenly just realized you're not just holding a thing, but you're also holding a lot of questions. And then another one comes up in your mind and then another and none of them have obvious answers. So this season, we've been having a, a whole series dedicated to understanding these spaces, right?
The storage rooms and how to tackle them and how to get inspired to take action and then finally take the action and how to keep it up. What we put in them is just as important as the aesthetic piece of it. So we talk all about all of this, and it all started because I know that feeling, the feeling of just standing there on the doorway of your storage room, whether it's an offsite, onsite, your attic, or a closet, you're just standing there and you don't know what to do.
And then all these questions come up. And you want to have intention, but you just don't know where to go from here. So today, I wanna offer you something a little bit different, but still on theme of what we're talking about this year. What I've noticed in my own storage room and in the homes of the people that I've worked with is that getting stuck isn't just about the stuff, it's also about the conversations that the stuff is asking you to have.
And there's usually three of them, three conversations. And once you can name which one you're in, everything gets a little bit clearer, so we're gonna talk about that and how to get from that point and then get unstuck from there.
Welcome to the Organized and Cherish podcast with The Organized Fomingo. I am your host, Stephanie, your compassionate and efficient professional organizer. Whether you are part of a sandwich generation, helping a loved one declutter or just trying to simplify life, this is the place for you. Together, we will tackle those overwhelming piles of stuff, uncover purpose in what we keep, and let go with dignity and care.
Because it's not just about throwing everything away. It's about respecting memories and simplifying life. Sound like a plan? Let's jump in and get organized. So before we get into the three conversations though, I, I'd love to name something with you that your storage room is not like the rest of your house.
Every other space has a function that filters what belongs there. So the kitchen is for cooking, right? The bedroom is for rest. Even a junk drawer has a loose logic to it. But a storage room, that's where things go when you couldn't decide. Which means, by definition, every single item in there is already complicated.
It didn't end up there because it had an obvious place. It ended up there because the, the decision was really hard and life kept moving and the storage room was patient enough to wait and said, “I will hold it here for you, dear.” So when you walk back in, ready to finally sort it out, you are not just organizing, you are picking up every deferred decision, one by one.
And finally, sitting with it. That's a lot. And I think it deserves a little more grace than just start somewhere and keep moving, you know? Sometimes that might be the answer. I'm not gonna lie. I've had lots of you who are just fed up and you're done and you're like, “Let's go. I don't want to overthink it.
I just wanna tackle it. ” That is great momentum to start, but at some point you will come back to these questions. You will come back to this feeling, so maybe it might not be the initial. For most people it is, but at some point it will come up because these are deferred decisions, and so you need to address them at some point.
So what I have found is that most of those deferred decisions are actually asking you to have one of three conversations. And the reason they stall us is that we try to answer all three of them at once, in our heads, in like real time, while standing in a room full of other things, waiting for the same treatment, and life is going on at the same time, so you're probably just an information and decision making overwhelm.
So let's slow it down and let's name them separately. Okay. The first conversation is the most practical one I would say. It's the most organizing advice that I focus on probably, um, and that's just simplistically about organizing, I guess you can say. It's the conversation you're having with your current life.
So it probably sounds something like this. Does this actually fit who I am right now? It's like in the present, right? Does it work for the home I live in? The routines I have, the re- the season of life I'm actually in. It's the conversation with your current life. Not the life that you're planning and not the life you used to have.
It's the one you're living in right now, this week in this house. And I've talked about it for years, right? That it's, it's not the other store, it's not the other stories, it's the right now. And this is a conversation about the camping gear that you haven't used in six years. So the kitchen appliance that was supposed to make everything easier, but now lives on a shelf.
The clothes that fit a version of your body or your lifestyle that doesn't quite match today. Um, the question for this conversation is honest and a little bit more direct. If someone handed this to me today, knowing everything I know about my current life, would I say yes to it? Not what I have said yes, not what some day should I say, right?
It's today as things actually are. Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes you pick something up and realize, “You know, I do want this in my life. I just need to find it a real home instead of a storage shelf.” And that's useful information. That's a great conversation with your current life, but the conversation with your current life isn't always about letting go.
It's about getting honest about what genuinely belongs. And hopefully that makes sense because I feel like sometimes we, uh, fight that. Like we fight the fact that what you're living right now, as much as you may love it or not love it, it's the right now. It's where we are. And when you get really honest with that, it makes the decision making so much easier.
Hi, cherish friends. Life can get overwhelming, especially when you're juggling caregiving clutter and everything in between. That's why I created the Organized and Cherish Weekly email that goes out every Wednesdays straight to your inbox to help you keep the momentum, inspiration going with tips and reminders of our upcoming events.
All you have to do is head on over to organizeancherish.com and sign up for the email newsletter. It's free, and you can s- upsubscribe whenever you'd like. It's my way of helping you simplify your life and respecting memories along the way. Now back to our show. Conversation number two is with your past self.
So this conversation is probably the hardest one for most people because it's the conversation with your past self. So this is a conversation that happens when you pick up something and immediately feel something, right? You, you feel that grief, nostalgia maybe, pride, guilt, love, sometimes all of the feelings at once.
It's a box of your mother's things that maybe you haven't been ready to go through and the trophy from the chapter of your life that mattered, um, the baby clothes you've held onto even though your kids are teenagers now, the thing that represents who you were or who you loved and what you hoped for.
And here's what I wanna say about this conversation. It can't really be rushed. It can't be organized away, and it absolutely cannot be answered with a logical question. So many of us try to approach emotional items with practical reasoning, and so we say, “It's just taking up space. I can always get another one.
Someone else could use this, and sometimes those things are true, but they don't actually answer the real question, which is, what does letting go of this mean to me? ” Because if you're doing it out of frustration, this might come back to bite you later. And the habit might actually progress. In other words, now you will have resentment because, oh, you will remember that one time that you had this big decluttering weekend, you got rid of everything and in the moment it felt nice and you just cleared your entire garage, your entire storage unit, gone, done, no more payments.
But the next time you're faced with this, you will subconsciously remember this moment and have resentment. And now this time around, you will take your time. It will take much longer because now you, you fear that you threw away all the stuff in the past very carelessly and now you're being extra careful.
So we wanna avoid that and balance the, those two. The conversation with your past self, I, I would really, really believe that it deserves a real answer and not just like that practical workaround, because sometimes the answer is, you know, I'm not ready, and that's okay. We are not in the business of forcing readiness, at least not here at the Organized Swimming Go.
And if something needs more time, give it more time. Just know that it might cost you time, money, effort, okay? Do it with intention. Put it in a specific place with a specific intention. I mean, really, the label on it can be a piece of paper that says, “I'm keeping this because I'm still working through it, and I will revisit it in, put a date, and six months today is such and such date.”
That is what I mean by keeping with intention, and that's very different from just leaving it there because it's hard. You're acknowledging that it's hard, and that's part of the process. Sometimes when you sit down with, um, you know, with something long enough, when you actually have the conversation, instead of just storing the object, you do find that you're more ready than you thought, and that the memory doesn't live in the item, that you can honor the past without carrying every piece of it into the future.
So this is the conversation number two with you ask the questions about the past self, okay? Now, conversation number three, if you're, if you're into what comes next, it's yes, it's about the future self. The third one is the one that trips up even people who feel pretty good about the first two. Even if you're like, “Okay, yeah, move, let's move on.
Give me some practical tips. Tell me what bins to use. Tell me how long this is going to take. Let's tackle it. ” Okay, fine. But future self, it will get you a l- even more hung up than the others because you don't know. You, you don't know what you don't know. It's a conversation with your future self, and it can sound something like, “But what if I need this someday?”
Even if you're not a worst case scenario person, we have episodes all about that, like the what if, even if you're not that person, this still will come up. The reason you kept this item in storage is because you were not sure what to do with it, and most likely, yes, it probably could have been about your past self or your present self, but it probably was about what if I need it someday, right?
A mo- a big part, a majority of the stuff in your storage room is probably this. Again, I, I've talked about it in, in different episodes, but the whole just in case way of keeping things is just, it can be a very dangerous part of your life is when it comes to organizing decluttering because you're not a museum, you're not archiving things, you're not a warehouse where you're keeping backstock items.
Uh, and if you are, I hope that you're, you know, doing it with intention. And, but I want you to bring it back here because it shows that c- we're constantly kind of stuck in this loop. And if you are thinking that you may need it for your future self, ask yourself a couple of those conversation pieces and questions that sound something like this.
Has this scenario happened to me before? In other words, like a lot of you have, um, I've noticed we'll have your bins, like your gifts, you know, for, to give people, like you want to give it as a gift for the next holiday, birthday, you have like your bins ready for, for gifts, gift giving. Okay, great. If that stuff is not moving, if you really aren't giving the gifts away, it probably means it's not your style.
You actually end up going and buying something anyway. It has not happened, so it probably will not happen in the future anyway, okay? We're not, we're not trying to prepare for worst case scenario. So here's another way I like to approach this one. Get specific with your future self, so don't just ask, “Might I need this?
It's the when, like, when will I need it? Under what circumstances? And if that happened, how hard would it actually be to get it again? In those scenarios, it could be plausible. I mean, it could happen. The item is really genuinely hard to replace, and you might need to keep it, and the cost of storing it is low, so keep it.
That is an intentional choice. But if the scenario is vague, the item is easily replaceable, and it's been sitting in a box untouched for years, you're not really talking to your future self, you're just negotiating with your present discomfort, and that's something I want you to acknowledge, say out loud, and make sure that you understand that there is a difference between finding intention in the future self and negotiating with the present discomfort, okay?
Your future self really does deserve a storage room that actually serves itself. Um, so we're going to make those conversations specific to what you think, what scenarios will be coming up. So those are the three conversations with your current life. So if you were to do them in order, that's how I would do them.
I would guide you to make the conversation about your current life, then your past self, and then with your future self in that order, but they can be in any order you'd like, whichever one overwhelms you the least is also a good approach. I want you to notice that when you walk into a storage room and freeze, it's almost never because we're bad at making decisions.
It's most likely because we're trying to have all three conversations at the same time, like this one item, this one jar, it is impossible to try to have it fit all three conversations and not be overwhelming. I want you to have one step at a time, one conversation at a time without it all being so overwhelming that at the end of the day, you make zero action.
You just leave it there the way it used to be and now you're back into the mess that you got into from the very beginning. I want you to be honest. Until next week, if you have any feedback, any questions, any of that, please let me know. I'd love to address it. We can continue this conversation about the three conversations as the year progresses to see if things have changed, to do some check-ins with yourself.
Um, in action for this week, I'd love for you to just always going into that storage room. If you haven't already opened your storage room, go in there. Let's … I mean, we are in at the time of me recording this, it's the end of April. And at this point, if you've been following along with us in this year, it's almost month five.
So if you haven't opened your storage room and you keep saying, “I will. Oh, okay. I'm listening to this podcast because I will, I will.” When you haven't yet, then I need you and want you to go in. Open the storage room you've been avoiding. Let's start making intentional decisions. If there's one step I want you to, to take is to have an intention, like what is the intention of the storage room?
If you are already, you've already tackled it and you're kind of just trying to finish it off or you're in the more aesthetically pleasing side of now just making all this pretty, send me your questions for wh- whatever, whatever section you're stuck on, and we can adjust them together, okay? Until next week, happy organizing.
Thank you for listening to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the Organized Flamingo. If you enjoy today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you left a rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It helps others discover our show. For full show notes, resources, and more organizing inspiration, visit
www.theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast. Until next time, happy organizing.