In this episode we dive into practical strategies and tips for parents to navigate the summer months with ease. Our guest, Eboni Creighton, a seasoned teacher and mom, shares her insights on balancing the responsibilities of both roles and offers valuable advice for staying organized and productive during the extended break
In this episode we talk about:
- The importance of routines and expectations for families, from establishing structure to managing commitments during the summer.
- We learn about the benefits of simple routines and how to balance motherhood with everyday life.
- Practical advice for parents, from how to create a skeleton schedule to finding ways to micromanage less.
- The joys and challenges of parenthood and how to make routines work for you and your family.
Mentioned in this Episode:
Read to GET READY FOR SUMMER
https://cr8joi.com/2023/04/the-cr8joi-summer-edition-get-ready-for-summer/
Read for Easy Summer Schedule Ideas
https://cr8joi.com/2023/04/the-cr8joi-summer-edition-easy-summer-schedules/
Find out HOW TO PREVENT THE SUMMER SLIDE HERE
https://cr8joi.com/2022/06/prevent-the-summer-slide-keep-it-real/
Read HOW TO IMPLEMENT SUMMER LEARNING AT HOME
https://cr8joi.com/2022/06/prevent-the-summer-slide-easy-ways-to-implement summer-learning-at-home/
Discover 8 THINGS TO SURVIVE SUMMER WITH KIDS
https://cr8joi.com/2021/06/8-things-to-survive-summer-with-kids/
Mom, here’s WHAT YOU NEED TO DO BEFORE SCHOOL LETS OUT https://cr8joi.com/2019/06/what-you-need-to-do-before-school-lets-out/
Find out WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD DOES NOT LIKE TO READ AND WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT https://cr8joi.com/2021/08/why-your-child-does-not-like-to-read-what-you-can do-about-it/
Mrs. Cr8, also known as Eboni Joi Creighton, the Mommy Teacher Expert from cr8joi.com. With a Master's degree in Elementary Education and over 15 years of experience as an Elementary School Teacher, Mrs. Cr8 has a wealth of knowledge to share with moms
Where to find Eboni Creighton online:
Web: www.cr8joi.com
YouTube: www.youtube.com/cr8joi
Email: [email protected]
Simply send an email if you are interested in working with her one-on-one. Mrs. Cr8 can help you with a SUMMER PLAN, crafted especially for your family. Tell her the Organized Flamingo sent you for a discount!
The Organized & Productive podcast is brought to you by The Organized Flamingo and hosted by Stephanie Y. Deininger! For those of you who love the thought of organizing & being more productive, but don’t know where to start or constantly up against hurdles that don’t let you advance the way you want to, this podcast is for you!
Review the Transcript:
Stephanie
Hello friends, and welcome to our very, very first summer episode. So what's an summer episode? Okay, so it's a regular episode, you know, like the ones you have listened to in the past from us, we're talking all about how to get organized and productive in different ways. But with a twist. So every once in a while right before a season is a special season is about to start, we will talk about how to prepare for that. And in this case, we're about to start the summer. So I thought it would be perfect to talk about how to get organized, how to find your groove during the summer, when normally that's a time when just routines are out of order. It can be a little bit chaotic, and in a good way. And it doesn't have to be in a negative way. But it's just not your normal way and routine. And so for a lot of families and parents, that can be an overwhelming time. So I thought it would be perfect for us to talk about what are some ways what are some things that you can do to prepare you for this long stretch of time off. Now even though we're talking about this summer, this episode can technically be listened to during any time of the year. And it can apply to any time that you are taking a long stretch of time off, maybe with your children, maybe with yourself. So this is like one of those episodes that that could be applied for holiday breaks or any other long stretches of breaks as well. So let's talk about our very special guest. Her name is Eboni Creighton. She's the mommy teacher expert from Crate joy.com. But she's also a really good friend of mine or has become a very good friend of mine. And what's really special about my conversation with her is that she's giving us her expert advice. She has a master's degree in elementary education, over 15 years of experience as an elementary school teacher, but she's also a mom. And she's also a an entrepreneur and a business woman. So she is able to understand the real part of having children at home during the summer. She understands it as an educator, and she understands it as a mom like facing it herself. But also understands it from a working mom perspective where you're trying kind of to do all the things when your routines, and this very long stretch of time off is happening. So she gets it and that's why she's so special. And I'm so excited for this conversation and for you to listen for this conversation. Because it's so relatable so much of what she said is a relatable. So let's talk about finding your summer guru, staying organized during the long break. Welcome to the organized and productive podcast with the organized Flamingo. I'm your host Stephanie, a professional organizer and productivity expert, ready to explore the right organizing and productivity solutions for you. Yeah, well then let's go hey, ebony. Hello, and welcome to the podcast. Finally my friend. I'm so happy that you're here.
Eboni Creighton
Thank you Stephanie. I'm so excited to be here. Like virtual hubs.
Stephanie
Yeah, that's Virtual High. Since most of you can't see us, she's wearing the flamingo colors. The Happy Flamingo color.
Eboni Creighton
I tried to come on brand today for you darling. I've got a little tropical vertically lined dress so that I can need to be a part of this organized Flamingo life
Stephanie
vibes and she's got the summer vibes, which is why she's here. Alright, so as everybody knows, we just get straight into the into the nitty gritty the good stuff from our guests. And so as I described earlier ebony is a former teacher is a teacher or I should say not formal but is and worked with students but also she has like her own kiddo. You know what she's teaching and has an a mom and a business owner so she has all the elements of an understanding of the okay long breaks are coming. What happens when you need to juggle the life the personal, the work and all of that, and especially as an educator, you know, coming from that perspective so hope so I'm hoping that she will give us some here some tips on how to work through the summer long breaks, where you know, all the things are happening and you're getting a little bit frantic. That's what we're talking about today. So I'm excited. Let's get right into it. The first is let's like the one on one. Let's balance let's talk about the balance the balancing the demands in regular life during the summer break, how do you balance that with being a mom? Maybe business owner maybe working mom working parent where life regular life is happening? Now the kiddos are out of school? Yes.
Eboni Creighton
Yes, the balance. Okay. So I have to say I have a hard time with the word balance. Okay. So, in particular with with motherhood because when we say balance, I'm always thinking of somebody juggling balls, right? And I can't juggle, Can you juggle 70 I can't, I can't juggle to save my life. So if there is a ball in the air, then another one's coming down, I could barely like toss two up in the air and catch them. So for me instead of the word of balance, because when I think of balance, I'm thinking of a mom, like, you know, with a baby on her hip and hot coffee on another hip and the computer on another in the laundry, you know, you're kicking a sack up in the air trying to catch something, you know, you're trying to get the pacifier and got a backpack on your butt. It's just too much, right? It's just too much. So I feel like that's not balanced, motherhood, innately is just not balanced, since that we're balanced is elusive. I try to think of things differently. Because I know with balance, we're thinking like, Oh, I'm either with my kid, or I'm not with my kid, I'm either working, or I'm not working. But a lot of times we are doing all these things, we're more momming we're wiping, we're mothering. And so I like to think of it more like it's something motherhood is something that we're always wearing. Mani hood is something we're always wearing that it's more like our skin, just like skin, right? So since it's always on you, and you're always thinking about your children's children, you're always doing things, but simultaneously, the scratch on little posts, oh my gosh, we need to buy more socks, or Oh, the undies are too small, or, oh, I need to register for this, you know, so we always have this mental load of motherhood on us. And we always had this, like background chatter, when we're doing all the other things. So I like to think of it a little bit more like skin, like we are just trying to become comfortable and confident in this mommyhood skin that we're in. So the here's the challenge, though, are our kids are always growing and changing. So as soon as you master one thing, then they're in a different stage, right? Or maybe you're in a different season or sage so that that then becomes the piece right there, right? That we're not really balanced. Because one Summit, we can't get balanced, because everything's always changing. So maybe I could learn to juggle the balls as the job, balls were always the same. And I spent time focusing on those two balls. But you know, any mom of two children will tell you, no child is going to come out the same you might master you know, your first kid, your second comes out a totally different personality, totally different type of sleep schedule. Or maybe you change jobs. And now your schedule is totally different. So now your life is a little bit upside down and different. So I like to look at things more like instead of the balance, let me just start right there. We're going to think about mommyhood as the skin that we're in, that's always my personal goal is to become work comfortable and confident in my mommy hood in my womanhood. And so that's where I start, I start with my mom mindset, that, okay, I'm trying to be more comfortable and more confident. In mommyhood.
Stephanie
I love how you just said, Well, everything but the scan, like you're you're just wearing it, it just is.
Eboni Creighton
It's just It just is. And so just looking at it in that way, it takes a little bit of the pressure off of like, I'm not doing it right or I'm not, I'm not timing it, right. I'm not spending enough time that here or there, like because you can't be everywhere. But somehow as women who are as moms, we're expected to be all those things all the time. And so that that we're a balance always kind of gives me the little, you know, like 10 Watt, too much. So if we just look at it like skin, it's just like an it's bad, even a hat? Because we don't I mean, can you take it off? I want to sleep tonight I'm taking off my mom hat. Does that happen? No, it does not happen. Right? Nobody hears that baby, but you crying in the middle of the night, so. So I think that I'm just striving to be confident, comfortable and confident in myself as a woman, and myself and my mommy hood. In being a good wife or good human woman, I think that should be the goal. And then if I'm getting my mindset, right, I'm getting my mind right and wrapped around the responsibilities that I have. And I'm not going to be looking at it as a long and demanding summer I'm going to be looking at it more like, oh, okay, we've got summer, which means we have a little bit of a break here from the normal routine. We can take a beat from the rat race and running out the house in the morning and you know, not being late for this or not being late for pickup and having to pay lash key or all these different things that may happen. We can look at it different if we have our mind in the right place that I get to be mom, I get to spend time with my kid instead of having to shuffle them off someplace while I do the thing. Perhaps we can do some of these things together. And then also I get to do this because I am blessed. I'm blessed to be this child's mother. And it's a mutual Well thing is not just one way like, oh my gosh, they're coming home and I have to serve though, oh, my God, it's gonna be this thing, we have to have our mind right about what we want to get out of summer. So I think that's the first piece like, we're going to take a moment, we're going to take a beat, we're going to pause and reflect. We're going to get our mind wrapped around what our wants and our needs are. And so the first piece to me is like the mindset and then the second piece is taking a moment to pause, reflect because I say this all the time to my clients, but we are you are you already know what to do mommy, you just haven't had a chance to sit down and think about it, because you're doing all these other things. You're trying to be balanced, but it doesn't sound really real, right?
Stephanie
Like you said, when it went that balance, like you have to take something when you think of that scale, if your vision you're a visual person listening to this, you're really saying let me take a with a weight from this side to put it on that side and that like constantly having to juggle that. In addition
Eboni Creighton
to wearing addition to like it does it's it's it's elusive. We can't do it. You know, we want to society tells us that we can, but I think just getting your money mindset, right is the first step like okay, I'm gonna take a minute, I'm gonna pause, reflect, I'm gonna think about, okay, yes, we do have the kids are going to be home, we have a long summer in front of us. But what do I need and want to do this summer? If my child is old enough, I'm going to ask my kid like, what do you want me to do this summer? You know, what do you want to learn? Because I don't know, when your kids began to speak any mom who has speaking aged children, those that are talking, they will tell you precisely what they're trying to do. Some things are realistic, some are not my daughter wants to go to Japan this summer. I'm like, Oh, okay. That's great. Let's write that down. Reflect. Right, like, Oh, I love that you like to travel? Yeah, we might take a virtual tour someplace, you know. But having your mind right and setting those intentions. I have a blog series going on right now called the create joy summer addition, with easy summer ideas, easy summer schedules. And in there, I have a reflection sheet printable. And basically, it's just something you can sit down and talk to first yourself and then your kids about or maybe if they're too young, you're gonna do a for them. But what do you want? And what do you need out of the summer, so that you're looking at that at the top of the summer, not the end? You know how like you, I'm sure every man has had this experiment, I'm not gonna I'm not we haven't barely been to the pool this summer, we didn't hit beach, or, you know, oh, my gosh, oh, my goodness, we're going to kindergarten. And now it's the week before and I'm trying to teach my kid how to tie their shoes. Like, sometimes we just, we would do it if we took a second or took a beat to reflect on it. And so I think the mommy mindset is, first and foremost, the most important thing that we can do before the kids get out of school as they're getting, you know, at the very top of summer. And then the second portion is setting our intentions and thinking about our wants and our needs as women. And then as moms and then for our kids.
Stephanie
Yeah. And so with with that, and well, I love that it's the intentionality and that it doesn't have to hopefully, you know, you do it before they they leave or the beginning of the summer or the end of the school year, I should say, but that this can happen at any time like this reset this mindset exercise that you have, or this just pause and reflect a moment can be done really at any point of this long break that you're taking, or that your kids are taking that you're with. So I love that flexibility to have have that you know, or a reminder that you can come back to later like okay, what did I write down? Let's, what did I say I
Eboni Creighton
was going to do? What did I say I was going to do? And then then you kind of have some compass to lead lead the charge for the summer to get you in the right frame of mind like okay, well yeah. This was the summer of swimming, like, okay, it's the summer swimming. So we should be at the pool like the what is the intention? Because if you are just like kind of going along with it, you're if you're just going along for the ride with your kids, Mom, I'm sorry, we got we're gonna have to back we'll have to have a whole nother episode about that we have to kind of have some parameters in place about where we're trying to go this time or what we're trying to do, and so that everybody in the family can get something out of it, you know? And absolutely, this is something you could do seasonally for back to school, I believe in setting intentions for the holidays, I believe in setting intentions. And anytime that you're just feeling really stressed out about how things are going with your kids because sometimes we're on this race, you know the school schedule or the schedule or you know, the after school sports schedule or graduation season or whatever, whatever developmental stage your child is in, but there is there has to be some level of pause and reflect to be able to really kind of say okay, let's be intentional about this time we have to gather we have to be intentional.
Stephanie
So let's talk about routines with you know of intentionality. The you know, a lot of our listeners are looking for like a guidance such as the positive reflect and like that, but they are also they really enjoy having some kind of routine and they either may not have a routine and they're looking for that or they thrive from routines and when kids are in school, that's what they usually have right? A routine. In during the summer, you maybe don't, but what are your thoughts on routines during the summer? Good idea, bad idea? Should they stick to them? Should they not? Like how hardcore do we need to be organized and productive people or want to be organized and productive? How like, good idea bad idea?
Eboni Creighton
Absolutely a good idea. Like you see map sound like them, like dance them to like the robot? Is she saying routines? I'm like routines? Oh my god, yes. routines. I mean, think about the magic of school. You know, a lot of parents will go on to school and visit a classroom and you're like, Wow, that is just amazing. Like, all 30 kids are just sitting here reading books quietly, like, they're not at their seats are sitting here. And I like reading and they're barely reading why? How do they do that? For high school students, or whatever grade level class you step into? You're like, how do they do that? What is the routine, that's what it is. It's a routine. The same way that we go into our workplaces or do our work things and we have a certain way that we get our jobs done. kids thrive on routines, they want to do the right thing, and they want to be helpful. So I absolutely think that we need to have a routine.
Stephanie
Okay, so what roles do routines play in the summer schedule? Like? And how do you create a routine that works for the whole family?
Eboni Creighton
Okay, so, listen, you need to have some routines, and you need to have some expectations, repeat after me routines and expectations. Okay? They work together, they work together. So what do I mean by this? Yes, I live by them. And yes, it is summer. And yes, we should kind of let our hair down. But let me give some examples. So that it's not just this elusive word of routines. So children want to know what they can and cannot do. They need to know, they innately want to do the right things. So we have to give them a chance and an opportunity to do these things. And we have to set them up in a way so that they can be successful, depending on whatever their age is, to give them a chance to be successful at whatever the things are, okay, they're going to get in where they fit in. So if you say it's quiet time, and you are creating a quiet environment, then they will, they will comply, we think that they won't at home because we we are catering to them in a way. That is they're leading the charge as opposed to you so we have to kind of have a little more structure so that our routines can grow and change as our families grow and change. So you're not going to want to say oh, we're gonna have an hour of quiet time with a two year old that's not quite realistic mom, as much as you may want that quiet time for a two year old isn't happy. That's what quiet time looks like. But quiet time for multi age family may be after lunchtime might look like reading time. You know, I right? Grab a book too hot outside, get a magazine and you can lead by example. Where's your magazine? Where's your book? And everybody's kind of plopped on the couch with a you know, a blanket or, or whatever the middle of the day? Or maybe you go outside on a blanket or what have you. But you're kind of leading by example. It doesn't always have to be a routine where they're doing this and you're doing this sometimes it can be things that are coexisting things, activities that we're doing together. I'll give an example of evolution say of my morning routine. If you follow me on Instagram, then you know I'm serious about my morning coffee. I've got this come on coffee, I need light if I if it's wintertime in Michigan, I've got my happy light or I've got the sunshine but that started honestly, in my nursing days, the come on coffee routine. I mean, I know you're not supposed to nurse and have coffee, but I did sorry. I figure whatever was in the milk was already in the milk. So and then when she got a little bit older, it was coffee juicy time. So I would have my coffee and she was sitting on my lap but they're a little sippy cup and she was having a juice and then when she got out a little bit older it was like okay PBS and coffee time like she's sitting next to me she's watching PBS and I'm sitting there having my coffee but she was enjoying her little show. And then the next evolution of that was okay, well maybe she's on her own watching that little show after her juice and a little hug time with me. And now I'm Oh my God, I've got a whole 20 minutes of the rest of this episode. I spent 10 minutes getting our set up and now I've got 20 minutes to myself to pray and journal or whatever you know, so It can evolve like now, if she sees the coffee cup Sure, yes. Oh, was there still coffee in there. So I'm not saying a word because we are, it's evolved. Okay, it's taken a long time to get to that place. But all I have to do is show her my cup. And she's like, Okay, go ahead and just finish your coffee I understand. So these expectations and these routines that we have, it's getting to know each other as family members. And honestly, you know, your kids can respect your time and space just as much as you're respecting theirs. So what I believe it comes back to those attentions, intentions again, but when you're setting those intentions for yourself, you might also talk to your husband or your partner, your ask your kids what they want to do. And then you're planning for the big things, right. And then there's all those times in between. So I think the tendency for us is we're like, oh, my gosh, these are caps, we got to fill up all the whitespace. But maybe it's not about filling up the whitespace. Maybe it's about like, oh, well, next week is going to be a really hectic week, we're going to be on the road, we're going to go see family, we got this, we got all these different things. So maybe we need some decompression time, on the end of that, like getting back into a routine when we come home, getting back on schedule. And maybe before we leave out, we have some things we need to take care of that are going to throw us off schedule, maybe we've got to hit the doctor or go to the dentist or get shots or get our passports or you know other little things that you may need to do in preparation for summer travel. So I know I'm on a bit of a tangent here. But the point is, everybody's family has different, you are going to have a different intention heading into summer. But if you don't know what those are, you're already going to be feeling a little bit for fun, you're gonna feel overwhelmed, because you're like, you're trying to figure out something that you haven't even thought of yet. So of course, you're going to have some anxiety about that. And I think that's very normal if, if you're if you're in that position, but the point here is to set those intentions. And then look at those big events that are coming up, and then create a skeleton schedule, create a skeleton schedule, it doesn't have to be perfect, but it can be something that you can work from. And then you can edit that as the days go on. So, on the blog, I have an example of a skeleton schedule. This year, I have the creative way summer series, the Summer Edition. And I have some core schedule ideas and some core things that you can do. So before I talk about those, I kind of want you to think about what you dread the most to in your daily routine. Personally, I hate the question what's for dinner. Like it sets me off. I'm a very good cook. But honestly, Stephanie, I did not sign up for all this. I did not sign up to cook morning, noon and night. I am a very well educated woman, like When did my worth come down to what we are going to eat. But anywho that's a whole nother thing. So I start thinking about this skeleton schedule with my most dreaded thing in mind the meals. Okay, so I'm thinking about breakfast, I'm thinking about snack, lunch, snack dinner. So right there, I've got a routine set around our meals. That's our morning time, I'm thinking about breakfast. Now that my daughter is closer to 10 There are some independent things I need to teach her about being independent in her morning routine, there are going to be some meals that she can prepare for herself, say last year, our goal wasn't to use the toaster and be able to clean up behind ourselves. Even at the age of say five or six, you might it might be a gobo squeeze. It might be as simple as learning how to pull out your own juice box and go go squeeze it might be learning how to pour your milk in to your cereal. When you are your child's getting up in the morning while you're near you know, and then eventually you're kind of stepping away from that. So starting your skeleton routine on those things that get on your nerves the most, in my case is the meals maybe maybe in your case is something else. Maybe it's laundry, maybe some people I know that's a major pain point. A lot of people create joy community so maybe laundry so in my case, I have my morning routine with coffee and then I put a load in the washer. I never washed more than I'm gonna be able to complete in a day. So I have my coffee, I kind of get breakfast out I put a load in the washer so that by the time breakfast is done or by the time drop off is done, I can put it in the dryer fold it and that is a whole routine right there. I did one low, you know, but if I do that every day two times a day. Then I'm on top of my laundry to a point where I'm not stressed out because I have so many loads waiting for me on Sunday. I might only have three or four to do over the weekend as opposed to you know I don't know, where are these clothes come from? They just come, okay, people keep wearing clothes on house the audacity, right? So they
Stephanie
grow out of them. And, you know, as they grow out, it's that it, that whole pile adds a whole pile.
Eboni Creighton
Oh, and just you went to your son is a little bit bigger when they want to wear the size to T shorts, and they are actually a 6x. That's when it gets fun when your child is no longer in that size, and they dig it out of that pile, and they believe it fits. And it's, you know, two minutes to get out the door to get to camp on time. Oh, that's, that's when you get your mommy stripes. Okay, that's what I happen. So I think that there are ways that we can set our routines around our skeleton schedule, like the schedule is the time that we do the things but the routine is the way that we you know, are building all those things together. So some of the pain points I think for for us over the summer is everybody's home. So then there's more chores to do around the house to keep things picked up. So typing in the kitchen after every meal, that's a routine, or resetting a space when you leave it. That's a routine and I'm a big fan. I don't if you are old enough to walk then you are old enough to assist in cleaning up your toys. If they're old enough to walk and they can pick the toy up, they are old enough to assist in putting the toys away. Okay. And then there are all our own parenting routines imbiah Parenting routine, I mean, like the time that you check in with your kid, or those teachable moments. Meal time is a great time for that. When we're tidying and resetting spaces, like I, I believe that it's a community of family of cleaners and helpers in the house. I'm not, I'm not your maid, but I'm also you're also not here to be the maid as the child or the babysitter. So we've got to find a way. Everybody's kind of pitching in, you know, there might be routines in some of the things that we do i i have core schedule ideas on a blog, like crafts, outside time reading games, learning time outings, three time, practice a new skill. Let's just pull out the craft 144 isn't why because I missed this creative war. So we're gonna pull out the craft one. But when you let's say we're saying is craft time. Now you might say oh my god, we're crafting and it's messy. And I don't know. But I bet you if you had things organized in a way where Craft Time had his own time and place and it could go right back into little box that it was your kids would enjoy you and enjoy it. And that time would be filled creatively. Okay, so having a space for the the paper, the pins, the paint, the clay, the playdough the canvases, the acrylic paints, I mean, I mean, some people think of crafts so it's just for younger kids, I think of crafts where I want to craft so. So whatever whatever we're trying to create, leaving those materials, having those materials in a place that are accessible, that are developmentally appropriate. Telling them that it's a time it might be a little setup on your part. It might be $1 tree. You've done create Saturday's I think with me, Stephanie, but it might be $1 tree table tablecloth, and you've got your dollar tree craft you didn't know I don't know it's scary. Okay, well, fine, go to Dollar Tree and get a little craft a little wooden practice in some craft paint, and put on some music on low and Saturday morning have the serial out. And it can be as simple as that when the craft is over, we're going to clean it up. And they'll get used to that routine of okay, afterwards, we clean up the brushes. Okay, we're going to put the brushes away. So that is a routine in and of itself. So when you say craft time, or you might say oh what's playdough time they will become used to what that means in terms of like the setup and the cleanup. And if you keep them a part of that routine, now you've created space for yourself in the years to come. So okay, it's bad time. What do you want to learn how to paint this summer? Oh, we're painting outside you want to paint like flowers? Okay, let me know I'm gonna get that together. We're gonna get a little you know, extra new paint brushes, you know, get a hat 20 and go down a tree and make this happen. You know? So it's, it's to me the the skeleton schedule and the setup.
Stephanie
Yeah. And so but it will there is no but but what I love about about you like your content and the way that we've always acted, because you know, as I mentioned in the intro, we've been friends that we've turned into friends now and but initially of course, I just followed her as an as a follower as an avid fan, that you just you you introduce life less like just life as activity as part of the learning piece. In the fun nest. I know that's not a word, but the finesse of of the routine and so We like to not overcomplicate it Don't think too much of it some of those daily activities that you're already doing with your children and with yourself are is an activity is is something that can be part of your skeleton schedule you know you don't have to overly complicate it and make it into this big thing this big learning curve like big learning lesson like you just make it like you know doing laundry could be folding clothes could be in tooth, whatever, you know, you make it very practical to make the summer feel like it's not a chore like it's just another type of it's a break humans. I wrote it down. It's a break from the your regular routine. Like it's just, it's just different. But it's not doesn't have to be overcomplicated.
Eboni Creighton
It doesn't have to be overcomplicated. It doesn't have to be. I think I think moms go in two directions. Either. We're like, oh my god, it's summertime, we're going to Disneyland we're getting matching outfits. We're overdoing it, we're over over. And don't get me wrong, I want to go Disneyland. And I want to overdo it. But that's very extreme and quite expensive. Right? It's not always our reality to take these massive big epic trips for weeks on it weeks on end. Or what are we going to do for the rest of the summer outside of that one week trip to Disney, right? Or we overcomplicate the most simple things like why? Why are we rushing to you know, clean up behind our kids after breakfast when this is a great opportunity to put some music on and gave everybody a rag and we're all getting ready to speak in the counter.
Stephanie
And as long as we forget that some of these daily nuances are new to them. To us. It could be we may have done this, our entire youth. And then after that, but we forget that for them. It was probably the first time or they did it a year ago when they were in a different developmental stage. And so now they're appreciated into different ways. So putting that into perspective, I know it took me a little bit to remember how, oh, that thing that he's watching me do. I'm thinking it's not a big deal. But to him, it's like a whole thing. And he now wants to learn it and do it and replicate it. And next year, it's going to look that same thing that I thought we already did, is now a new, it's like a whole new feeling for him the next year, a whole
Eboni Creighton
new feeling. And it's a great way to create confidence in your children. No more going back to the beginning thing was setting the intentions, like my intention. And my mindset is to always be comfortable and confident because I want to raise a comfortable and confident child I want her to be comfortable with herself. I want her to be confident in herself. And so the children are going to gain their confidence for what they're doing with us at home. So it might be as simple as we're unloading the dishwasher. You guys eat all fun element and it we're not rushing off to school. Let's put on some jams. Okay, I heard your baby's thinking, right? I know, you know how to rock out at your house. Okay, so you put your jams on? And you you you put the dishes away, and you let them try it themselves? Or maybe you give a little bit of direction to kind of let them learn your way. Like Do we really have to micromanage like that all the forks are this particular way. If they're in the bin like does it really matter? Like, you might say, Oh, next time, you might want to make sure you put the big forks. But the big forks is not worth it. But I liked how you probably the forks have the right thing, like give them some confidence to work with, you know what I mean? Little bit of redirection here, and especially once they get a little bit older into those tween and teen years, when everything like they're very sensitive. Or you saying I didn't do that, right? You know, you know, everything can be a huff and puff match. So you have to be mindful, we have to kind of plant those seeds throughout the years so that as they're learning the routine can be your parenting friend, like now you're not the bad guy, because that's just the routine, we always clean up our plates and put our dishes in the dishwasher. And we always are wiping down the countertops after we cook. So now you know 10 years later, 12 years later, when you say can you wipe the countertops now nobody's rolling their eyes at you? Because this is what we do. This is how we do things.
Stephanie
Yeah. In this way you're involving them in inadvertently when maybe not even the way that you intended it, but you're involving him in the hope the planning of because now you're they're kind of telling you what they want what they need what you know, so you're involved in like you said, you're you're asking them and you're learning about their strengths and now you're developing this Oh, well I see that you do like to sort or you don't or you're more creative or your we're all creative but in a different way and you prefer this and then gradually it just kind of organically happens. And so I love that kind of like that. Just learn as you go with them. Have your skeleton schedule hat, get some ideas from someone who does has done this for a living but also enjoys it like yourself on your blog. So get some ideas Get some prompts, but inserted here, but don't overcomplicate it, you know, just kind of
Eboni Creighton
complicated, no, and these some whitespace for God's sakes, like let's leave a little bit of whitespace for everybody that kind of like be to just naturally navigate into the next thing without it being so. I mean, when I say skeleton schedule, I think people are like, Oh my God, she's gonna get through this 800 said, No, I'm gonna. I'm not saying that. I'm saying you could write those things down. And if they happen great. Or you could loosely put down a handful of things you want to accomplish in the day, like I am, chunk or it could be as simple as on. And I talk about this on the blog and in the creative way, Summer Edition. Okay, fine. On Mondays, we're gonna lay low because Monday is a Monday, right? But Tuesdays, we're getting a little antsy. So Tuesday is our library day. That there you go, there's, we've got our routines and our skeleton schedule is, at some point, we're leaving our house. Okay, so on Tuesdays, we're gonna go to library. Well, let's see if I have small children, everything centers around naptime. So either we're gonna go before nap time starting to kick in, or we're gonna go after first thing after nap. Simple. I'm not overcomplicating this trip to the lab. It's the library, like go there and have fun, like, get a book for yourself to like, let's not make this like, oh my god, we're going to Cedar Point, we've got to pack everything up. No, we're going to the library. And they'll get used to going to library and putting the book in the bin. And and they'll get used to checking stuff out and be responsible for keeping up with your books to return. Don't overcomplicate it, I think you you hit the nail on the head. But then how do
Stephanie
you handle the the part about because we've talked about it's, it's about them this whole summer. So now we're going to the finding time for yourself for a minute or two. Whether because even even for those of us or you that are listening that are Monday, no more traditional Monday through Friday, or you're going into an office or to a service center, wherever you work, whether you're a working parent or a stay at home parent, it really doesn't matter. Finding time for yourself can be really hard during the summer because as we have just talked such a fun conversation about about all these what to do and ideas as we can listen, it's all kind of about them right now. So at some point during the summer, need to find a little bit of that. Me Time, or just at least that take a breath time because everything as of right now is kind of is about them in a natural way, in a good way. But just now Yeah, I think you mentioned like the morning coffee time, you know, having like a ritual, something like that. But what about what, what are some other tips for people that may not be morning people who might need a little more than, you know, just like the morning
Eboni Creighton
more than the morning. We need we need more than the morning. Let's be clear, I need
Unknown Speaker
more. What do we all do?
Eboni Creighton
Okay, so two things. One is the setup. And two is to dip. Okay, so let me explain. So the setup is if you have all these for Schedule ideas, you have all your routines or you have some things organized and in place. I think before we're done here today, I'm going to share with you some of my favorite ways to organize kidstuff. But if you have less you use that crafting for example, you have craft time. Okay, we got the craft, but it's craft time. Okay, we got to set up we got to pay lip lip look, get your time route. We're gonna paint my bite as a family. I don't care if you're 15. Well, five or two, everybody in your house campaign. It's painting time put your little music on or what have you. And it's painting time. That's 45 minutes. What are you doing now? Are you just gonna sit there and hover and tell them they can't? Don't spell it out? No, get lost by you set them up. Go do the thing you needed to do. There you go. It might be the first time that you set them up or a second time, but you're like, oh my god, I have a little kid. They're gonna run off with the paintbrush, or whatever. Okay, well, fine. Take it outside. Can we not do this on a blanket and you're like, on your laptop in the sun with your, you know, iced coffee. Like it's possible to coexist with your kids while they're doing something and you're doing some thing. But if you're going to hover now, don't get me wrong. I can be a helicopter mom too. But if you're going to hover over them, when they're doing the thing that you set them up to do the next one you So figure out when you're creating your skeleton routine, when you're creating your expectations. When we do this thing, this is what I expect. We're gonna get the thing out when you can. That's why when you go to visit the school and you see the 30 kids doing the thing, you're that's why you're amazed because the teacher set it up that way. This is the routine. This is my expectation. This is how we do it. And the kids are cool, but when we go home we're like what Did you do it the way I told you to do it, you know, and then we were, we're overly mothering. And then we're mad that, that we're having a mother all day long. So it's okay moms, we've all been there, let's find a way to set them up, you have to set them up. So you set them up, you have an opportunity to coexist at the same time doing the thing that you need to take care of doing that. And you can be very clear about what it is you're getting ready to do. And maybe you're coexisting in the same physical space. Or maybe you're coexisting in the same house. It really just depends on the age of your child. Honestly, like the proximity piece there. I am helicopter mom with outdoor play. I don't like my kid to be outside the house where I can't see. See her? Or she can't hear me. I don't think I'm ever gonna get. She'll probably be at nine and I'll be like,
Stephanie
Girl the street if you can't see me, I can't see you. I don't like it my 75 year old daughter, or
Eboni Creighton
get your walker out the street girl. No, tell him but I have. But yeah, if she's 79. Right. But I think a lot of times, that's that's that's a lost opportunity for a lot of moms were like we talked about a minute ago. You're making it too difficult. We're putting too much on ourselves. It's like, okay, they're painting now we're mixing the paint. Now we're all up in their business. Now. Let them do the activity right now is like all time, guess what it's like all time. I'm gonna let you go and like, Okay, I'm not like going with you. So finding a way to set them up for success. I'm getting ready to get on a call, I could have still taken to zoom. If my daughter were at home. Why? Because well, one, we all survived 2020 every other day or something? Our generation, we've got that. That's the training right there. I'm zooming and then you give him the eye starts twitching and all that crazy. There's no, but why would I be able to take a zoom just like you should be able to work? It's easier for me to do because I do it more frequently. Or because I have routines it will be more difficult for my husband, because he's not necessarily in that kind of bow. But what do you do you set the kid up. So before the call, you have a setup, not getting on the call when my kid hungry. I have pack lunches before. If it was at lunchtime, I pack the lunch, okay, and in the lunchbox, your special dollar note and we're so proud of you eat your lunch. I can't wait for you to play X, Y, Z when you're done. Did and I have posted notes I'm going to stick in our baby book of drawing pictures. I used to draw pictures of what the next thing would be. Oh, I love that is so cute. Well stick figures would be like a stick figure doing things like a stick figure plus a toothbrush, paintbrush or D All right, well, and then you know a little checkbox and they mark it off, we underestimate what our kids are capable of when they're little, just think about what they're doing in their classroom and try to do a little bit of that and then add to it. So we're going to set them up. The second thing we're going to do so we're going to do a setup and we're going to dip the second thing we're going to do is we're going to dip so if you know you're getting to your mom tap out point because we all have it, it's like a tap out as tap out on a couple of levels. One Tap out I am over tap, meaning you have touched me one too many times today. Ma Ma Ma Ma Ma you know that one, when we've gotten tapped out, I think is very important to have a conversation with our spouse, our partner, our village, our babies, whatever it is, the grandparents, the babies that are whatever your support system is for parenting, and set yourself up to dip and buy dip. I mean, get out the house and be off duty. It's time to go. It might not happen as frequently or as long as we need it to happen. But I think again, it's the intentionality of saying okay, yeah, well, I've kind of been mom and real hard here, like the last two weeks or three months or I don't know, you know, what your capacity is. So figure out a way like I just need 30 minutes. When you get home No, go for a run, then that'd be that'd be bad. Tap it out. Or I just need you know, Saturday morning. They're going to be you know, using our same painting example they're painting. While you're watching the Morning News, I'll be back. I'm going to home goods. Therapy by I don't need to buy anything at home goods but for me like that's the place that I go and I refresh myself. I just look at things I touch things I walk around. Sometimes I'll get a coffee sometimes I think about getting coffee and that just does it for me just the thought that I could get a coffee if I wanted to. And then you know I twirl for you know 45 To 90 minutes and I come back home that restores me, you have to find the thing. It might be just going to the park. But again the park might be a place where you can co exist. You take the kids to the park their plan on Play escape, what's our expectation, we're gonna be here for 60 minutes, Here's your water bottles, here's your snack, that this is what I expect, go play. And now you're sitting on the bench or on your in your game chair or whatever, you're coexisting your kids are doing something they want to do and you're coexisting and doing the thing that you want to do simultaneously, that book, that podcast, oh, I need to catch up on organized omega, you know, like, you can do the things you want to do, too.
Stephanie
I love that part. Like it is possible to co exist with your kid in that, put that one down and get it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So as we start to kind of unwind, like I think there's a really important piece to this, and you've mentioned tidbits in your conversation. But the what happens when you haven't planned, you set yourself up for success. You got all the tips, you read the blog, and you're like, Okay, I've got this, I think I have a plan. I've got a skeleton schedule that I can move around. Got it. Okay, I can coexist with my kid. I'm going to try that for the first time. You know, let me I got this. I think I think I'm okay. I'm feeling good about the summer. Okay, here we go. Or the reset if you're listening to this, you know, mid summer and it's like, okay, you know what, I'm gonna do a little reset here. We've got five more weeks. I've got this. Oh, snap. After that. You put your pen down, you stop listening to the podcast, and you had it already. And the house, just everything you had planned is now not even close. family emergency, Major Scale scheduled changed, job changed, whatever. Like the thing that you didn't think was going to happen just happened? either big or maybe small. So now how do you handle the challenge of finding the unexpected finding that yourself back in the unexpected changes and disruptions of those plans that you so carefully laid out because you listen to our podcasts and you went to Ebony's blog? No, it's not going to happen.
Eboni Creighton
So that to me sounds like definition of motherhood right there. What you just described Actually, everything you plant just went a little bit different. Kind of all fell apart a little bit and now it's time to regroup. Okay, that that that's a pretty good definition for it. Okay, so what do we do when life is lifing? And the kid gets sick, and you've made the plans for camp now they're home, you put them on campus? You're gonna have like, I was gonna record 49 podcasts this week. Yeah, I was gonna batch No, you're not. It's called, you know, the flu, the summer, whatever, germ this vote around or whatever. So my dad was a very wise man. And he used to say, the only thing that we can count on is change. And he was sad all the time and out, like, you know, sometimes when your parents say things, you get a little annoyed on my younger dad. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Well, he's right, though, you should learn to count on the fact that there is change, just count on it. Like if things are going smoothly, you need to count on the fact that somebody is gonna get sick, or that your schedule is going to change or that the camp is going to be shut down unexpectedly because of a water main break or something ridiculous. Like it's always something that just is not even, like this is even happened here. And we had a tornado. Why did you say the school ship or tornado? We don't even get tornadoes? Like, what is a hurricane? No matter? Okay, you know. So all kinds of things like that seem to happen just just to us moms, it doesn't happen to the dads, it doesn't happen to people who don't have children. We are plagued with it. Okay, it's a part of the part of our bad part. It's a part of it. But I do think the first thing is that we have to want to give ourselves grace, above and beyond all things, we have to be able to give ourselves grace. And then we have to be able to get off the hamster wheel on schedule, like it's okay, that we created this template, and then it's okay to revisit our intentions. It's okay to think about what our needs and wants are, in this particular week or particular season, things might look a little bit different. So that part of like, you usually know what to do is just you just have not had a chance to sit and reflect. So that is the time when things go bananas that I forced myself to sit down and have some piece of coffee or candle or whatever it might be before the kid wakes up. It might be after the kids go down it might be when they're napping or when they're doing something where I'm coexisting with you know, but I'm kind of in my own brain and they're doing their thing but just giving myself an opportunity to reflect and think about and do a brain dump so what will okay yeah yeah, I wanted to carry on we were gonna go to Disney but now you know we had hotwire main, right? A hot hot water token broke. So there goes the vacation budget. So we're not doing now. And this one caught COVID No, my husband COVID. So now that time off is not there anymore, whatever the case might be, you're going to make that adjustment in your brain down, you're going to put it all down, put your finger on it, but just just barf it on paper, okay. And then from that point, restart, just restarted, like, okay, so this week, we're going to just take a beat, we're not going to worry about teaching, how to clean up the kitchen, we're not going to worry about a new learning a new skill or a hobby, we're not going to deal with the summer packet, even we're leaving all that behind us, we're going to just focus on living, getting through today in a way that we have some grace for ourself in our kids, period, and then you pick up because they're gonna get sick, we're gonna get sick. And that
Stephanie
intentionality that you you set up at the beginning that it's really a feeling, it's the intent. So how can you just pivot it so that you still have the same results?
Eboni Creighton
Yes, you just, it's just that you're always keeping that and as it's in your toolbox, it's a it's a, it's a tool that you is at your disposal when you need it. So not putting it as like this big build up thing. It's, it's a check in point for yourself, because yes, the mental load of motherhood is big. And remember, I said in the beginning, that it's more like skin than a hat. We don't get to take it off. So it's definitely skin when the child is barfing. Okay. It's definitely skin when the babysitter goes away to college sooner than you thought. And you thought you had childcare for another month. But no, you don't have any childcare now, it changes, these things may change, right? Or all the mulch got infested with mold at the preschool. And now oh, sorry, the summer campus closing six weeks early, you're like,
Unknown Speaker
oh, no, no, no, it is not.
Eboni Creighton
Oh, I paid my deposit. And now everybody else is full. You're gonna find this bad? How much punch do you need? Exactly, you know, I will go get
Stephanie
the truck on my way.
Eboni Creighton
But there are going to be these times where we're unable to control you know, these types of things. And so I think it comes back to having grace for yourself in the situation, above all things and then being intentional having that brain dump. And then here's some money tip for you have something up your sleeve. And by that, I mean, I know you your child has not watched every movie that you watched when you were a kid, they've not listened to every song that you've ever watched. They've not done every puzzle, have a rainy day, pull it out, you're behind type of situation, because you're going to need it. I'm trying to remember it wasn't me this year. We've had everything in our house. We've had normal we've had COVID We've had flu, I think it was a flu. I don't know we've had some unknown cold, whatever could be had outside of the bubble. We've had it in these little small things have saved my life. One night, we watched one day we watched Michael Jackson videos are there are there and he is an entertainer and I'm here to tell you that Michael will raise your kids on a day that you need it. Okay? Not He's entertaining. Okay. I'm bad. Ruler. Okay, so now you've learned loads. Okay, great. There you go. There's your black history packed with the month, you've learned about Michael Jackson, you've seen how he became this world phenomenon, or whatever. It might be an old classic children's movie, like comparing the old Annie with the new Annie. It might be I don't know, you watch Wild Kratts and then go down the National Geographic. Kids channel and try to find something about that one animal or have them do a little poster on that. But you can you can make it as simple or as difficult as you want it to be. But I think the point is, we're we're, we're trying to be comfortable and confident and give ourselves some grace. And so those it just expecting that those things are going to happen. So save that little Dollar Tree ball, or the little thing from five and below that one little crafty kid say that thing. For that rainy day that will happen. It's gonna happen,
Stephanie
embrace, embrace that it will happen. Embrace what happened in summer,
Eboni Creighton
and just stop beating yourself up about it because this too shall pass. It always passes and then you'll come out. I can strong and you'll be back on plan and maybe you'll edit some things and it might turn out better than you hoped. Maybe it's it's just not the season for that. But I think just constantly being aware that you have the power to you. You can control it. You don't even though you can't control the change, but you have the power to change how you're feeling about it. There you go. Well, my kid is sick. I do laundry every day obviously but when My kid is sick and I'm feeling stressed out and I might be on the brink of breaking down and getting sick. That is not the day that I beat myself up about staying on top of my laundry.
Stephanie
And just like any good habit, if you've been doing it for so long, you will come back to it and no, in no time after, after the turmoil is settled after the dust has settled.
Eboni Creighton
Yeah, let the dust settle and keep it moving. Like, what why are we over here beating ourselves up about something we can control anyway, so control, I tell my clients control your controllables. So my controllable is I can I can make this target pickup order and I can put something in there that I'm going to be happy about. Try this new grammar I can control that. I can control maybe getting carry out on Thursday and Friday instead of just Friday. Because I'm not cooking today. Or I can control not overscheduling my kids so that I'm still on like a chauffeur back and forth back and forth like okay well let's let's let's budget let's let's create some space here. We've got one kid and baseball over here. And now if they're not all in baseball, this is his baseball season we're going to just brought cousin brother brothers season is baseball. The rest of us are in the stands. We're doing our things. And maybe next season is dance season for the other for sister. Maybe it's not everybody doing all the things that all the time. So it's just finding that space because the other part about the kids becoming more involved. It is the germs as always the charms like if you sign them up and you get them going and they come on sick. Like why why?
Stephanie
I just wanted them to have a good time. That's all I was just trying. I wasn't trying to invite new friends over that was I was right harm.
Eboni Creighton
Yes. Always you bring in your germs. Like I want to spray everybody down with Lysol. I know there's going to be add about that, like 20 years, were you in the year? 2020? Are you exposed to the Yes,
Stephanie
yes, dry. We were just writing. This is awesome. This is so good. And if you're not following or reading her blog, you definitely should. Because I think you also give us the critical thinking piece of all this and what this conversation was about, it's like planting the seeds and ideas, but that it doesn't have to be so rigid. Here are some things for you to work off of. And that's what I love about your content. So definitely head on over there. So okay. Everybody knows that. At the end of our conversations, we always ask three fun questions that the to learn more about her it but one is what is the one thing you would want people to take away from this conversation.
Eboni Creighton
The one thing I'd want people to know is that there is joy in motherhood, even in the summertime, and especially in the summertime, so don't be afraid of the mommyhood skin that you're in. Don't be afraid of it. Embrace it with a little bit of reflection and intention and preparation. Then you and your you you too Mommy you and your kids can have a good summer you can have a joyful summer joyful as in full of joy.
Stephanie
Yeah, embrace it, and know that okay, let's talk about your favorite magazine. What's your favorite magazine to read for either business and or pleasure and why and it could be the virtual version now nowadays but
Eboni Creighton
so I'm always going to be a paper girl. I'm always going to be the paper pack rat. I am the Pinterest kid before Pinterest who was
Stephanie
actually had a board the board change of things to do.
Eboni Creighton
And then I was advanced and I did a binder with like sleeves up in there under categories like the original Pinterest like I was able to put in a binder and I'm gonna like categorize it. And then Pinterest came out but um, I like all home decorating magazines. I can't nail it down to one. So any magazine is gonna have a lot of bright colors on it. I'm always gonna gravitate to that like your HGTV your DIY Better Homes and Gardens. I don't know just any bright color anything that's got bright colors on the cover here I hear icon
Stephanie
where so Okay, actually now that you sparked another question my head with this magazine. Do you read it from top like from beginning to end? Do you read it or do you just more skim through it you kind of keep it as a coffee table on the shelf for a little while for inspiration. Are you a reader of it from cover to cover?
Eboni Creighton
Okay, so I will if I get a new magazine, I am not going to just open it up to the middle. I will start at the beginning and flip through. I will earmark things that I want to go back to but usually with the home decor things I don't generally need to read read but like all magazine or I'm like that like those if I bought it because there was a cover story or something I will read, I will go to the cover story that I bought the magazine for. But I haven't really bought a ton of magazines that have an article article in them to read. But I'm never gonna go backwards. If that makes sense. That would really mess me up. I needed to be in order, like at the start. Like, I don't want to I want to feel like I missed out like, Where was that one pink chair on page seven. Like I might have missed it. So I have to go in order. It's been love it.
Stephanie
All right. So where can people reach you? Where are you at? Tell us a little bit about some of your pages. And of course, as everybody knows, we'll always have it in the show notes. Where can people reach you before we head out for the day?
Eboni Creighton
All right, so you can find me online on my most of the time I hang out in Instagram stories. I'm at Mrs. C are a Mrs. Create on Instagram. And I have a blog which is create joy see our eight J oi.com. And that's where you can find those summer edition print the create joy Summer Edition printables I was talking about with a core schedule ideas and easy easy summer schedules. And there's some blog posts in there too about preventing the summer slide. Things like that resources that you might find helpful. I have a YouTube channel, create joy CRA J. Li, create your YouTube channel. And that's on my intentional list. This summer of my coexisting mom time I've got to get back to my video channel stuff. So um, and that's pretty much where you can find me on Instagram you could sign up for or the website you could sign up for my joy note. It's our little community newsletter, where you get eight things that create joy in your inbox every month and I pour my heart and soul into the joy note. And I try to provide things that are inspiring and make you enjoy you know want to create joy where you live, love and learn. So if you're all about that, then I'm the girl. I'm your
Stephanie
You are my girl, that's for sure. Well, Ebony, thank you so much for being on our podcast and our episode today. And as always everybody thank you for listening to the organized and productive podcast with the Organize Flamingo. If you enjoyed today's episode, and we'd love it if you'd leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It helps with letting people know that we're here. For full show notes and resources head on over to the organized flamingo.com/podcast Happy organizing.
