This week, we're diving into how to decide what “special event” items to keep and which ones to let go. We are chatting about more intentional keeping, with key questions to ask when deciding what to keep. We explore the difference between keeping out of expectation vs genuine intention, the stories we attach to sentimental objects, and how to reframe “special” as the people and experiences, not the stuff.
In This Episode We Talk About:
- The difference between keeping special event items out of expectation vs. intention
- How we attach stories to objects, and why the memories live in us, not our stuff
- Key questions to ask when deciding what to keep for occasions, to focus on quality over quantity
Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast
Review Transcript:
In our year of the storage rooms journey, we have been exploring all the reasons our storage rooms and spaces become overloaded. A little bit of psychology, a little bit of action packed tips. I share some stories that you may resonate with. Today, we are going to be diving into another keeping trap.
It's the allure of the special event, which is a little bit different than the what if scenario, and I am giving you some examples of what this might look like, what you can do about it. Some action that hopefully will move the needle, in other words, will inspire you to be intentional about what you're keeping.
And I think you know what I'm talking about. It's those outfits, those decor items, those random objects that we hold onto in case there's some future occasion that calls for them. Like it could be a fancy dress for a what if gala or the 27 VAEs for a future party that may never happened. True story. A pile of cloth napkins for that elusive someday dinner party that you've been meaning and wanting to have.
Maybe it's something you inherited that you think would be a great addition to your next. What if special occasion? I see this a lot with perfumes and or self-care items for the, oh, when I do a pedicure night or I have a girl's night or, um, where my friends and I have a beer tasting party. I'll have all these mugs for all of us to share.
Okay? What happens more often than not is that holding for special events is driven by expectation and not true intention. It becomes less about cherishing the moment and more about performing some imagined version of it. So today we're going to unpack that and I'm gonna share a framework that you can use and some tips so you can be a little bit more intentional about what you keep.
For occasions and what you can confidently release. Maybe as you hear me ask you some questions, they might trigger some deeper emotion that you haven't acknowledged and that might help you move forward either direction, whether it's to finally be confident about keeping it or finally be confident about letting it go.
That sound good? Let's dive in.
Welcome to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the organized Flamingo. I am your host Stephanie, your compassionate and deficient professional organizer. Whether you are part of the sandwich generation helping a loved one declutter, or just trying to simplify life, this is the place for you. Together we will tackle those overwhelming piles of stuff, uncover purpose in what we keep.
And let go with dignity and care because it's not just about throwing everything away, it's about respecting memories and simplifying life. Sound like a plan? Let's jump in and get organized. Okay, so first, let's talk about the difference between special occasion versus the what. If we have an entire episode that was devoted to the what if items, I actually talk about this.
At length in many of the episodes because we tend to keep things for the what if. But special occasions are a little different. And I've noticed this a lot with clients that are not keeping things out of guilt or any of that, but yet they are still feeling like they can't let go and they don't know what, and many times it's because of this special occasion movement.
Okay, so a little bit of the difference. I'll give you some quick difference between the two. A special occasion is, is more that anticipation and warmth, like you are so excited to be, to host this event, and so you're keeping and accumulating things for said event. The what if feeling is more of anxiety and obligation, so you have to keep it because you feel guilty.
You feel like the world might end soon, so you have to keep it because you might not have anything left. Another one is it ref? A special occasion is more about like, it reflects who you are right now, but now you have too many of your right nows the what if ends up being a reflection of who you're afraid to lose.
So if you're afraid of losing the past and a memory of the person that it belonged to, if you've inherited some things or the person you were 10 years ago, 20 years ago, and that is the. You are just afraid of losing that by getting rid of all these clothes from, let's say, a past job, right? Versus it's reflecting who you are right now.
A special occasion is a little bit, has more of a clear and a repeatable, either repeatable or specific win. So you might be accumulating things for your upcoming summer party for the birthday. And the what if is, it's super vague and there's a lot of maybes. It probably has never happened before. You've never had the party, you, or, or the feeling or the, or the event or you're keeping all these things because what if you can never travel again is so you, you know, you're keeping all these things so that you know, if they're never available where you originally bought them in another country, then you want to make sure that you have them.
Special occasion means that you probably are, are preserving it with a little bit more care. You understand that, that some of these items need to be properly cared for or put away as opposed to it's just stashed and forgotten. So those are some of the differences between the what if, oh my gosh, doomsday.
And that's why I'm, I'm keeping, and you, you're having more of the hoarding, compulsions and personality traits. Versus the special occasion where you are accumulating for special occasions and it's now becoming overwhelming. You, you are willing and able to let it go perhaps if you had the right questions, if you had the right guidance, and or, and, or it would be a little bit easier versus feeling like you would lose your entire identity in the what if scenarios.
So that's a little bit of the difference between the two. Okay, well, great. Yes. Now you kind of understand the difference between the two and now you're saying, okay. Yeah, no, I, I'm, I'm able to let things go. It's just I'm more of a collector and I, I do, I, I, I'd like to find the dress in the shoes for an upcoming gala that I don't have any plans on going to yet, but if I do, I want to be ready, but.
Eventually, yes, I'll get rid of it. I'm okay with that. I don't have those hard feelings over keeping these things, but I do tend to buy and collect for those special occasions. Great. That's you. So how do we actually decide what to keep for, for those special events with more intention? So here are some questions that I would encourage you to ask yourself and see kind of what that does for the, for the movement here.
Something else though, I, I just kind of wanna quickly mention there is a very slippery slope over. Yes. I buy things for the what if I wanna be ready. Like I, I just wanna be ready for the event right. Versus overspending and, um, over consumption. So I don't, I don't know if I, I necessarily wanna go into it in this episode, but I just do want you to know that.
There is extremes in these cases. So if you're finding yourself like a compulsive overbuy or, um, you, you just, everywhere you go or you deal with your emotions by buying things, let me know. Let's talk about it. We can do an, an episode with a, with somebody who specializes in this because it is a mental health conversation.
I don't want to minimize it. It's not something that you can just say, okay, well stop spending. Well, that's not how that works. Okay. There is deeper emotional and health conversations that have to be done and have to be taken into consideration with this, and I just don't wanna minimize it. Okay. So this is more for when you know you can.
It's just you need a little help. You need a companion. You need somebody by your side that can keep you accountable. That's this conversation. Hi, cherish friends. Life can get overwhelming, especially when you're juggling caregiving, clutter and everything in between. That's why I created the Organizing Cherish Weekly email that goes out every Wednesdays straight to your inbox.
To help you keep the momentum inspiration going with tips and reminders of our upcoming events, all you have to do is head on over to organize and cherish.com and sign up for the email newsletter. It's free and you can up subscribe whenever you'd like. It's my way of helping you simplify your life and respecting memories along the way.
Now back to our show. All right, so some of the questions that I would have you ask yourself is, does this item bring back the feeling of the experience? I actually just asked this exact question to a client a couple of weeks ago. We're going through organizing their storage space right now, and so this question, it's, it's, it's not just a look, the, the look of, of it, of, of photos, but the genuine emotion and spirit of the date.
So let's say you're keeping, you know, you have this annual party that you host every year, and the reason you're keeping these items, it's because you keep having this event and, and, and if, and you have the space, you're willing to pay the price, whether it's of you cleaning it up, putting stuff away. You know, if you're renting outside storage units, then that's part of the price.
But the feeling you get every time you think about this event. Or this upcoming, what if event is incredibly real and it has happened before and or you know, it will be happening soon. And so that's why you're keeping the item and you have a very specific reason as to why you're keeping it. Okay? So that's what this question is all about.
Question number two, is this something I actually use and enjoy or am I just keeping it out of obligation? This is a question that I ask even if somebody, if I, if I'm starting to get the feeling that somebody is keeping their items for the what if, um, like worst case scenario, right? But this also applies for special occasions.
You know, be real with yourself. If you haven't touched those fancy cloth napkins in over a decade, chances are very slim that you'll suddenly start hosting dinner parties every week. But maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe. But I just want you to ask the question. Am I keeping this? Because I feel really bad for, for giving them away.
Uh, they were my grandmother, she embroidered them. They're beautiful, you know? Oh my gosh, my dad's pocket washed and all of his, um, you know, his memorabilia, like, I would love to have some kind of like family party or themed party and would love to display this. Great. But if you haven't in a really long time and you're only keeping it because you kind of feel like you have to.
It, it's a very good indication that it might be time to either let it go, sell it, just not have it be as part of your ecosystem when it's creating more stress and clutter. Now, if you have the space and you are being intentional about it, go for it. You know, we are not about just throwing things away aimlessly, but I want you to be really thoughtful and ask yourself the question.
Another question is, if I imagine not having this for a future event, what's my honest reaction? Okay, this is actually part of the, um, conversation I had with the client. In addition to that first question I told you, so, you know, you know, there's the whole expectation versus intention. Check-in, check-in again, but you might start going over to the, but I might need it someday.
Let's press a little deeper. So with this one client, what they're trying to do is they're trying to have, um, a storage that's half the size. So we're trying to declutter at the same time, keeping the things that matter the most, et cetera. If this question came up because they said, oh, we have these parties ever so often, and I could just tell that it, they kind of just didn't love the party.
It just became a habit. So I said, well, what happens if you host a party, maybe at a restaurant or somewhere else, or you pay someone to bring the decorations? And then we estimated it would be about $200 a year for them to rent a couple things from there's for this like the centerpieces and stuff, and they're like, oh my gosh.
I would much rather do that than have to keep this year after year. If they didn't have this item, it would be okay. In these items, in these boxes, it would be okay, you know, would it really ruin everything or could you find another way to make it work? That's the questions that you, that are really helpful in this scenario, and if you can, like in this case, we ended up just donating the two boxes that cleared two boxes full of stuff, and every year what they're going to do is rent the centerpieces and stuff for this party and or.
Have it be somewhere else and not in their home. And another question would be, does keeping this aligned with my bigger vision for my home and my life? You know, zoom out for a second. If your goal is to create a more, like, more space for connection and you are, try to hold onto the 27 basis, I mentioned above, you know, in the, earlier in the, in the conversation.
It's not aligning with your end goal and where you are right now. You can always keep one and let the rest go. Is it aligning with your goals right now? Now, if you are hosting this party every year and you have a space for it and you know where to find it, and it's you, you are willing to put in the work that it takes to keep this stuff and clean it and put it away.
Great. That is your why in that you looked at the bigger vision and it's worth it. But if you're not looking and making sure that this is aligning with the big, your other goals that you have for your home and space, then you're not doing yourself any favors. So those are some of the questions that I have for you.
The key here is to focus on quality over quantity. If there was one message I want to leave you with is make sure that you're keeping with intention. That you are keeping quality over quantity. Keep those few items to truly light you up and evoke that spirit of you that you want to most cherish. Let go with gratitude.
Trust that you can make any future events special with what you have and or that you can resource what you need when the time comes. So let's close out for today. The challenge for you this week is to pick one category. Of special event items in your storage spaces to reassess this week. So if you don't even have this category, this is actually going to be the action for you first.
It's, it's put everything together that you are keeping for the special occasion, not the what if. Okay. Not the worst case scenario. I'm talking for when you have another wedding to go to for the next holiday party that you haven't been invited to, but you know it's coming up. Okay. Those items, put them all in one section.
So that's gonna be for you. And then from there, look at the stuff and ask yourself the questions that I had I have for you up above. Lay it all out. Run each item through the filter of those intentional keeping questions. So does this bring back the feeling? Do I use and enjoy it now? How would I honestly feel if I didn't have it for future events?
And just keeping it aligned with my bigger vision. If the answers are no, let's, let's talk about it. Let's sell it. Let's donate it. Let's gift it. Let's let it go. Let's clear some space for you to think again. Be at peace again, and trust that in doing so, you're making space for what matters most, which is the people and experiences that truly light you up.
Okay, until next week, happy organizing. Thank you for listening to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the Organized Flamingo. If you enjoy today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you left a rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It helps others discover our show. For full show notes, resources, and more organizing inspiration, visit www.theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast.
Until next time, happy organizing.