This week we dive into six common challenges that make tidying up a tricky task, and discover practical strategies to overcome each one with ease and confidence. From handling emotional attachments and decision fatigue to managing resource constraints, we are here to guide you through each hurdle with compassion and creativity.
Oh, and as we approach our two-year anniversary, exciting changes are on the horizon, ensuring our podcast continues to serve your organizational needs. Don't forget to catch our “21 Days of Holiday Prompts” coming up in mid-November and keep up with us on Instagram and our newsletter for all the latest updates!
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In this episode we talk about:
- Practical strategies to boost confidence
- Tips for managing resource limitations
- Actionable insights that make decluttering easier
Mentioned in this Episode:
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The Organized & Productive podcast is brought to you by The Organized Flamingo and hosted by Stephanie Y. Deininger! For those of you who love the thought of organizing & being more productive, but don’t know where to start or constantly up against hurdles that don’t let you advance the way you want to, this podcast is for you!
Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast
Join our weekly email newsletter for all-things organizing & productivity delivered right to your inbox https://theorganizedflamingo.com/quicklinks
Review the Transcript:
Stephanie [00:00:00]:
Hi there. Welcome to this week's episode. Okay, so for this week, we are talking about the problems that you may be running into while decluttering. Either it's your own stuff and. Or you're helping a loved one and how to overcome those problems. Now, you will notice from the title that I'm talking about six specific problems. And that is because I. One, we only have a certain time together here.
Stephanie [00:00:25]:
I don't want to overwhelm you. So I picked the top six. Six. Because there are many problems that come. Can come up, and many of the problems are very specific to the scenario that you're dealing with because your family dynamic is different, the location is different, the circumstances are just different. Right. So we. I mean, technically, I can.
Stephanie [00:00:44]:
I could have come up with, you know, a thousand problems and a thousand solutions, but that's not going to be very helpful to you. So I rounded them up to six to six of the top problems in themes that I see, and that's how we will approach them. So the goal of this episode today is for you to navigate these really common decluttering challenges without frustration or overwhelm. And to know that you're not alone, that you're not the only one that's having these frustrations and that there is that light at the end of the tunnel, that there are some solutions that can help you get through it. Okay? So I don't want you to get stuck. Stuck. So this episode is really like an inspirational feeling, like a big hug to you to tell you that you're not alone. And here are some ways that I would approach this, and I would suggest that you try some of these before feeling like you just are going to lose your mind.
Stephanie [00:01:40]:
Okay? So let's get right to the episode. Here we go. Welcome to the organized and productive podcast with the organized Flamingo. I am your host, Stephanie, a professional organizer and productivity expertise ready to explore the right organizing and productivity solutions for you. Yeah. Well, then, let's go. Okay, so we have the six problems, like I mentioned earlier. And then the solutions, they're not in any particular order of the most common or the most important.
Stephanie [00:02:11]:
They're just the top six. But this one, the first one I'm starting off with is in no scientific way have I measured this lately. Okay. I have done surveys before, and this was the top one. But this just my gut, my experience, this just is the one that always comes up over and over. So this one just happens to be the first one I'm talking about. But it's also one of the top problems that I see happening when you're decluttering and people just tend to get stuck here. And that is the emotional attachment to items.
Stephanie [00:02:46]:
So what that means is the memories and emotions that you have attached to certain items or your loved one, if you're helping them, can make letting go really difficult. So then now you have attached some memory, some emotion to the item, making it really hard to let go. So then you get stuck. I would say raise your hand if you were in front of me. Raise your hand if you have come across this. If this is you, then one of my solutions here is to start off with the immediate, immediate nos of decluttering. What that means is start off with the really easy, non emotional things. So if you are getting attached to things and you have been, and that's why you can't let go, and now you're just kind of stuck, then make a pile of the easy things that are very quick decision making.
Stephanie [00:03:42]:
And it doesn't mean those are the easy throwaways. It just means that those are the things you really don't have any attachment to. So it could be things or spaces. If we are working together and we are working through a house, let's say my first question is going to be, well, one of my first questions is going to be for you to rank the rooms that you utilize the least. And then. And then the separate section is, or like a separate column is rate the ones you have least emotional ties to because those are the rooms we are going to start with. So this could be, you can apply this to a space, like a full room or a drawer or like, you know, small section, like boxes. So start with those first.
Stephanie [00:04:27]:
And that's going to do a couple things. One, it's going to give you the momentum that you need to start the process of going through your stuff and making decisions. And the more you do this, because organizing and decluttering and decision making is something that you have to practice. I've said this before, it's a trait that we're not born with that you do have to practice over time. So if you have not done a good, like, like a deep decluttering session by yourself, on your own, or with a professional, doesn't matter, then this is going to get you to get more comfortable with making the fast decisions and trusting yourself and. Or if you're working with someone else, like a loved one, then having them trust you. And the process making the momentum go faster and faster as you continue. So when you get to the sentimental items, the emotional attachment to the items, it's.
Stephanie [00:05:24]:
It's not as harsh, and you have some practice, and now you have the feel good, um, experience of being able to make those quick decisions. Okay, so that is my number one. One of my first tips. Just start off with the things that will get you to practice the fast decisions. Some of the questions that you could be asking yourself here are, what does this item represent to me? So if you get to an item of the emotional, you know, you're like an emotional stuck. You're in that phase. See what it represents to you. And if you start to get deep into it, almost like a conversation you could be having with a therapist, then go ahead and put that to the side and let's address that until we're ready.
Stephanie [00:06:11]:
So, and then go and start with the items that you can make very quick decisions on. We have our compassionate conversation action cards for free, where I give you some scenarios for you to, you know, explore and read through. So if you're getting stuck, quite often, head on over to organize and cherish.com cc, which stands for compassionate conversations, the CC. And that is a free guide that guides you through those awkward moments or conversations and what to do. So I first prompt you with the problem. So what's. What's coming up for you and or your loved one what to say and what to do? And then I have a space for you to write down the next steps. So if you're getting stuck with this head on over there, it's in the show notes as well.
Stephanie [00:07:04]:
And just know that this is a problem that may come up and there is a solution. Don't you worry. You don't have to dress everything at the same time. Just take a moment, put that to the side, and we will come back to it later. The second problem that I see happening quite often is the decision fatigue. Decision fatigue is a psychological term and concept which happens when you are sorting through items. So in the decluttering, organizing world, it means like, you're going through all this stuff and you are getting overwhelmed. Like, it's just so many decisions, you're just getting tired of making decisions.
Stephanie [00:07:39]:
There is such a thing. Sorting through items one by one can be overwhelming. It can lead to burnout. I mean, that is, just think of the number of decisions you're having to make with every single thing. Some people don't think about it that way. Some people will just think about an entire room. Like, I need to, you know, I need to organize my closet or I need to declutter my kids playroom. But if you think about the number of things, like one, two, three, like how many things objects there are in that space and the thought and the, you know, the fact that you have to make a decision over every single one, that is a lot of decisions, and it can be overwhelming.
Stephanie [00:08:25]:
So one of the solutions that I would have for you here is to implement a decision making strategy before you even start. So we have, if you're new here, we have our seven steps of organizing almost anything. It's like our framework. It's free. We have a podcast, like a whole entire series where we talk about this. Okay. So I put that. I'll put that in the show notes if you want to follow along.
Stephanie [00:08:47]:
But basically, we have seven steps of organizing almost anything. And how the very first step is you assess and you make a plan. And in that plan, it's all. It's also. And like the, we also talk about, like, how to set yourself up for success when you're ready to tackle your project. And that includes coming up with a decision making strategy. For some of you, that's like, set up for success. That strategy will be a, like the four box method.
Stephanie [00:09:18]:
Like the keep, donate, toss, unsure sections. For some of you, it's the tri, it's a triangle. So the triangle is the keep, donate, toss. There is no unsure. So basically, like, you don't have a maybe pile. And for some of you, for others, it will be a voting system. Like, if you have your, if you have your family that is participating in the, in this decluttering or downsizing, then they maybe vote. Or your friends, like, okay, you know, especially this really comes into play when you're trying on clothes.
Stephanie [00:09:48]:
And some people will allow that. And you come and basically do a fashion show. And either your stylist or your friends, whoever your trusted people are, they vote and they tell you yes or no. And so that is one way for you to not have to make the decision, but you are picking and choosing the things that make you feel good, that you feel confident in, and others agree with that. And now you don't have to make all the decisions by yourself. And then it just keeps the momentum going. So implement something. Think about it ahead of time.
Stephanie [00:10:19]:
If you do make a decision, like, okay, this is what I'm going to do. I'm going to do like a prep station, right? Like, this is my keep, donate, toss on shore boxes, the ones that I'm taking to donate or maybe your cell pile. I keep, donate, toss, sell, pile, whatever your piles will be. And then you change courses you realize that it's not working for you, that's okay. But just keep in mind that we want to be consistent as much as possible. So make that pivot as soon as possible. And or when you feel confident that you think this is a better method for you, just don't be changing around every day, because then it just becomes overwhelming and now you're all over the place. If you can get that as soon as possible, that decision strategy ahead of time before you even start, that will help you with the decision fatigue, because you have, you have a plan in place to make these decisions, eliminating that decision fatigue.
Stephanie [00:11:19]:
Problem number three. This one is about family dynamics and different opinions. Either the people that you share a space with, it could also be roommates. You know, if you, you don't, you live with, like, friends. And so it's really anybody that needs to be part of the decision. For those of you that are helping someone else, like a loved one, downsize and declutter. Since many of you are in that sandwich generation where you're applying many of these tips to you helping your loved one, then you know how this could really be important because, and a big problem. Because if you have family that disagrees with how your loved one and or you are doing something, then it just might create some havoc.
Stephanie [00:12:04]:
So, because not everyone in the family or shared space agrees on what should be kept or let go, this could lead to that, that tension and frustration. Right. So I would suggest that you hold, if you can hold a family meeting, if you're comfortable with everybody and, you know, via Zoom or in person or whatever, like some kind of household meeting where each person gets to share their perspective. In this exercise, it's really important that people use I statements to minimize the conflict and emphasize the listening. That is a really big exercise that, that is used when in our organizing space because we don't want theories. We don't want to hear about how someone else, from someone else told you that this was going to happen. Like, we want. How do you feel? Statements.
Stephanie [00:12:55]:
How do I feel? Like I don't like it when my, you know, you're making my parents throw away stuff that I'm not ready to give up because now we can get to the root of it. And instead of putting the blame into with somebody else or someone else in this one, it's, you know, establishing a really clear decision making process together is also important. So in this case, it could be maybe the majority rules, right? Like if you all come to an agreement that everyday households, everybody, you know, you can make the decision. But if anything from that person's space, like, maybe that person's room that, you know, belonged to somebody else, those are off limits. Or maybe you put a. Some people will put, like, a. Something that was worth, like, something that's worth more than a certain amount of value. Like, don't donate it, sell it, or throw it away until the family or everybody in the household agrees.
Stephanie [00:13:51]:
This is really particular with, like, heavy or big items, like, big ticket items, televisions, vintage items, the refrigerator. I've had families do that. Quick little story. We had an estate clear out one year. The family had. Had just purchased a refrigerator for the family member that was occupying that space. And they said, you know, it, like, we want to be able to either sell it and then divide that money and everything else, we don't care. So, you know, they all agreed and said, okay, when we're.
Stephanie [00:14:22]:
When we're up, where we're down to that moment of deciding what to do with it, then I will message everyone with the options, and then we can all vote. So, I mean, it can be whatever your family dynamic is. That's not the point here. The point here is that that can be a problem, and I want you to overcome it by having very clear boundaries. Very clear. So, like, decision solutions and communications with this group of people so that you can move forward. Okay, let's head on over to problem number four. And that is the.
Stephanie [00:14:56]:
Just the sheer overwhelm in general. Not so in problem number one. We talked about the emotional overwhelm or the emotional attachment that you have to things, which can be overwhelming, but this is not that. This is just the sheer overwhelm of everything. The. Because visually, especially if you have a lot of stuff or very large, unique things, you don't see where this will go. You don't know where you don't. You can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Stephanie [00:15:28]:
This really comes. I'll give some very specific examples. This comes into play when people have things in awkward spaces, like the attic or basement or sheds, where they don't know how they will get the stuff out. Especially if it's like, big and heavy, they'll need help. Or if the. If you are in a position where you can't physically take the stuff out, you just are feeling lost because you know it's going to cost money or it may damage the area as you're trying to get it out. Like, that whole thing is just overwhelming. And then some people will get, overdose, overwhelmed with just the amount of stuff.
Stephanie [00:16:02]:
Like, you you're doing the math. You're. You're very practical people. You're. You're. You're adding up, um, how long everything takes. Like, every single item is 1 minute and 1 minute times a thousand, and you start making the math, and it's just overwhelming. So then you get into procrastination mode, and then you kind of give up.
Stephanie [00:16:21]:
So that's the type of overwhelm that I'm talking about here. Very common problem. And my solution and my tips here is that you break down the larger projects into smaller, more manageable chunks, which I know feel like for a minute, when I say it out loud, every time people look at me like, well, what does that exactly mean? Because I know it sounds very vague. What that means is it's start with the things that you can manage and you have control of and you know will not overwhelm you because I don't know your specific situation. You'll either have to call me and tell me, like, what that threshold is for you, or I will just give you, like, a general rule. So for some people, usually it's about, if you. If you don't declutter often and this is one of those first times, or you're decluttering other people's stuff, it's usually after about 1520 minutes, it just becomes like 15 to 20 minutes at a time. You have to build yourself up to do, like, a 45 minutes session, and then after the 45 minutes, you can start to add more and more time, and it just becomes less overwhelming.
Stephanie [00:17:23]:
I'm not saying that the overwhelm is going to go away completely, completely, because it's just not. Okay, we're not sugarcoating this. This is like, this can be really hard, emotionally and physically, but I want to limit that as much as possible. So break it down so that you can build on the momentum. Some of the tips I have, too is, yes, break it down into smaller, manageable sections and areas. And things that just are. Won't. Won't put you in the burnout phase.
Stephanie [00:17:53]:
I'm not a nutritionist here, but get yourself some food. Get some. Get yourself some fuel, good food and water and drink because your body needs to nourishment. You're doing a physical activity in a mental activity, and it can be exhausting. You're burning calories, you're burning effort, you're burning your. You need fuel and good fuel. Good, healthy fuel, hopefully. So when you're just overwhelmed, break it down.
Stephanie [00:18:21]:
Break it down into smaller, manageable chunks. Start with the. What you can manage and give yourself some good, you know, good fuel in your body so that the you like, there is something to feed that overwhelm almost, if that makes sense. A mini tip from here is some people love timers. So, like, the Pomodoro method is really popular because it works. You do, you know, 1520 minutes chunks at a time, and you do. You do like three of those and then with like five minute breaks in between. And then after the third one, you do a longer break and then you do that cycle again.
Stephanie [00:19:03]:
It seems to just build. It just seems to work for people. So try that. But do the timer that works for you and, you know, go from there. Okay, problem number five, speaking of time. But we are. I'm actually going to talk about just resources in general. So the problem number five is it could be maybe you have limited time, limited money, limited help.
Stephanie [00:19:27]:
And so this is just all about that. We actually have an episode about this. It's called maps, and it stands for, if you like, the four most. Like, the four resources that you may or may not have. So it's money. So m is for money, a is for accessibility, which is, do you even have the time to do it? P is for passion, do you even like to do it? And s is specialty, which are you even good at doing this thing? And you can go listen to that episode if you like. But the point here is just any resource constraint if you're coming across that. So it could be, I don't have enough money to throw this stuff away because not everything that that is here, I can throw away in my dumpster.
Stephanie [00:20:12]:
Like, I need to go and either pay someone to come pick it up or my trash service, especially like mattresses and big ticket items, you might have to pay for someone to come pick it up, help you get it up there and or just the recycling and or trash facility may be asking for a fee. So if you're limited on money, if you're limited on time, like, when am I going to do this? You know, in any of your resources, maybe you live in an area where you don't know anybody and you don't know who do to even ask for help. You'd like, you don't have family or friends. You're not comfortable with that yet, or you're a very private person and you're just having a difficulty with that, like, trying to fight that. Like, I don't want people in my space, but I need it to get done. What do I do? Okay, so if you're coming across that problem. Then prioritize the most impactful areas first and be realistic, realistic about what you can accomplish on your own with the resources that you do have. Because at some point you will have to make a compromise.
Stephanie [00:21:16]:
If you're not comfortable with having people come over, then maybe you can have something along the lines of, okay, I, I think I can get this stuff up out of my basement, at least to the main living area or to the front door, so that way people don't come in. I can compromise on that. And then from there just somebody picks it up. I can just post it on a marketplace online, like Facebook marketplace or Craigslist, and have someone come pick it up for free. You can compromise. Okay, so the key here, though is to prioritize the most impactful areas. Like where is it that you need the most help with? And do as much as you can on your own with what you the. With the resources that you do have.
Stephanie [00:21:55]:
Like, for instance, if you don't have the time, if that's one of the resources that you don't have, you just don't have time. You have to work all the time. You're traveling, you're whatever they may be, you have, you know, kiddos and family and other obligations. If you're taking care of a loved one and you're the caregiver, you really just don't have the time. Then maybe that is a place where you will then ask a family, you know, family or friends or other people to come help you and you can barter. So you can say, hey, I don't have the time to do this. I need to get this done or hire someone. Of course, that's always the option.
Stephanie [00:22:26]:
But in this podcast, I try to give you resources that are not always just about paying money, but maybe getting more creative and inspiring you to take action. Okay? So of course, the most obvious is just hire it out. But if you don't just barter something, so just say, hey, I need help with moving all this stuff, getting it out of here, and then, you know, in return I'll make you like five loaves of bread if you're a loaf bread maker or something to that effect. Okay, all I'm saying here is that you prioritize and you compromise. That will get you over the hump of getting you through the problem where you don't have the resources to complete this task. So now we're on to problem number six, and that is guilt and the pressure to keep everything. So really just like the guilt in general that we have. So in this problem, the most common description would be that it's the guilt about throwing, letting go of things that were gifted to you.
Stephanie [00:23:34]:
So, like a birthday gift, Christmas gift, inherited items or things that should be useful, and you're just keeping them out of guilt. That's what we're talking about. So, number one, just remind yourself that keeping an item out of guilt serves no one. I mean, truly no one. You're keeping it. You're not enjoying it as the person. So the person that gifted it to you was thinking of you, okay? And I get it. You feel bad because it's not your style.
Stephanie [00:24:03]:
You don't like it. You've over, you know, you. You're like, you're over it now. You know, you don't. Maybe you were at one point. I mean, with me, for instance. I'll give you an example. I used to.
Stephanie [00:24:12]:
I mean, I still collect happy faces and smiley faces. Fun fact, I used to. I won a best of show at the fair for my collection. Okay? That's how much I collected them. Story for another day. But I got so many of them from people that at some point I had bins. I'm talking, like, probably about 30 bins worth of stuff from, like, smiley face stuff. And I loved them.
Stephanie [00:24:36]:
I really did. And I'm so grateful for everyone that gave me one. But I just. I. Over there was just too many, okay? And it's still who I am, but I didn't need that many. And that is an example of guilt. And I did. I felt very guilty about throwing many of this stuff away.
Stephanie [00:24:54]:
So instead, I did end up. I did donate them. You know, luckily with happy faces and smiley faces. A lot of people wanted them. And what I ended up doing is I donated them to a school, a school that was in need of. They put, like, put a post up and they said they were in need of things that would encourage their students who were having a hard time with some things. So that was, like, perfect. And I didn't give everything away.
Stephanie [00:25:17]:
I kept all the really sentimental items and collector items, but the stuff that I just had duplicates of and just had a lot of. First of all, the person who gave it to me either doesn't remember that they gave it to me or they just gave it to me because they thought of me in the moment. And then they, like, you know, to them, it doesn't really matter what happens to it, but for the people that do matter, I took a picture, I sent them a thank you card, and that was it. It is not useful for you to be keeping something that is collecting dust, that it's not even being shown and the person really doesn't even like they've moved on as well. Okay, so it's serving no one. A couple of the solutions that I have for you here, one is just to remind you of that, right? Just remember, keeping something out of guilt is not serving anyone. And then number two, one of the solutions that I have for people here is to have more of like the one in and one out rule to honor that balance. It seems to work really well because that way, especially if people are giving you the same thing or the same type of thing.
Stephanie [00:26:23]:
Like I mentioned, the happy, happy faces for me, then if five people are giving you pencils and they're all the same, then you really only need to keep one or two. Do you need to keep all hundred? Probably not. So you already have one that represents them all, if that makes sense. So that's why one in, one out really works with guilt type of items, same thing with the inherited items. If it's something that you want to keep because it reminds you of that person and you're really just keeping it out of guilt because you feel like if you throw that thing away, the memory will be gone, you can take a picture of it. And that is another way to just remember the person, the moment in time. But honor your boundaries, that it may not be your style, it just may be time to let it go. Alright, so there you have it.
Stephanie [00:27:15]:
Our six common problems and my encouragement to you on how to overcome them. Let me know if you have any questions. There's a quick recap in the transcript and the show notes. Okay, so if you need that recap, just head on down there and just remember that it's really important to be kind with yourself and that these problems are very real, that you should not feel bad about having them like you. If you stumbled upon them, that is totally okay. Honor them, talk about it, journal about it, and then try one of these solutions so that you can move forward. Because that is the goal for you to have a space that is who you are there, it reflects what you really want, not what you feel like you have to be. And if you're helping others through this process, it's the same thought, right? Like guilt.
Stephanie [00:28:12]:
And having to keep all these things and having these stumbling blocks that are holding you back is not really helping anyone and it's not allowing you to live your best life. So keep on going. As always, if you want to go share it on social media, I would love to see your progress, everybody. I love and seeing it and encouraging you. And if you have any questions, let me know. I mentioned really quick that in the last couple of episodes that we are heading into the end of the year. And so we've got two big a couple of big events coming up. We have our annual 21 days of holiday prompts where I help you get organized for the holidays.
Stephanie [00:28:50]:
And it's like more holiday geared type of prompts. Like remember to do this. Like it's just every. It's 21 days total. We are starting very early this year, per your request, mid November. So I'm going to put it in the show notes as well. It's totally free. Head on over to Instagram and or subscribe to the newsletter and I will have all the updates on that.
Stephanie [00:29:12]:
But it's basically like, if you just want some accountability, this is a great way to do that for the holiday. So we have that coming up. And then I wanted to let you know that we do have some changes to the podcast that are happening in the next couple of months, weeks and months. We will be celebrating our two year anniversary in January, and by then I will have some changes, not big changes. We are still doing the podcast, and it's still all about organizing and productivity and all things organizing centered. But we're going to do a little bit of a change, something that will align more towards our audience and something you've been asking for and that we just align with a little bit better. Also be on the lookout for that. I just want to prep you that it is coming so you'll see some small changes happening and then I'll give you more notice on the big name reveal and kind of what other changes will happen as the weeks continue.
Stephanie [00:30:11]:
That being said, have an amazing week and until next time, happy organizing. Thank you for listening to the organized and productive podcast with the organized Flamingo. If you enjoyed today's episode, I would love it if you'd leave a rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It helps with letting people know that we're here. For full show notes and resources, head on over to theorganizedflamingo.com podcast Happy organizing.
