In this heartfelt episode, Certified Professional Organizer® Stephanie Deininger shares how family stories can guide the decision-making process when sorting through sentimental and inherited items. For many in the sandwich generation, decluttering isn't just about making space—it’s about honoring memories without holding onto every physical object. Stephanie offers a compassionate, practical framework for using stories to determine what to keep, what to let go, and how to preserve legacies in meaningful ways.
In this episode, we talk about:
- Why storytelling is a powerful tool when decluttering sentimental items
- Questions to ask that help clarify whether to keep or release something
- Creative ways to honor the story without holding onto the entire item
Mentioned in this episode:
- A client example of using one story to keep one special item
- Tips for creating a “story shelf” or curated memory zone
- A simple practice for letting go with clarity and compassion
Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast
Review Transcript:
Hey everyone. Welcome to this week's episode. Today we're talking about a gentle but powerful way to make decisions when decluttering family belongings, which is to use the stories behind the stuff, to guide what stays, what goes, and what gets passed on. So let's talk about it. Let's talk about some tactics and tips that I have for you as I have witnessed this work for many people.
Hopefully this is a different way. Of doing your decluttering and your downsizing that is meaningful to you and works for you. So let's get to it.
Welcome to the Organized and Cherish podcast. With the organized flamingo. I am your host Stephanie, your compassionate and efficient professional organizer. Whether you are part of the sandwich generation helping a loved one declutter, or just trying to simplify life, this is the place for you. Together we will tackle those overwhelming piles of stuff, uncover purpose in what we keep, and let go with dignity and care, because it's not just about throwing everything away, it's about respecting memories.
And simplifying life. Sound like a plan. Let's jump in and get organized. So let's talk about why stories matter. So we often think we're keeping a chair, a platter, a scarf, a furniture piece, a sofa. But what we're really keeping is the story behind the object. There's a famous saying, and. Thought process amongst pro organizers and just people in our industry that there is no item that holds the actual memory.
It's the person, right? So you are the one that creates the story and the memory behind it. We don't always realize it in the moment, but objects are often just placeholders for a memory. And sometimes we feel like if we let the item go. Then we're letting go of the person or the moment, the memory. But here's the thing, if you've ever found yourself holding onto something, you don't even like that much.
Just because it belonged to someone you love, well, you're not alone. And it's quite common to feel that way because now you have placed a feeling to an object in order to have it be a representation. Of that moment, a physical representation so that you don't forget it because we sometimes fear that out of sight, out of mind, and you will forget.
But let me tell you, I've worked with so many clients who say, I don't want this in my home, but I feel really bad about getting rid of it. And that's where stories can help because I have seen how they feel guilty or not even guilt. They do love. The person and the story behind the item, but not the item so much.
And I'm here to tell you there that there is a way out of that really hard place to be in so that you can move forward, but still keep the memories alive and just do it in a little bit of a different way. So this is where using the story to decide whether you keep something or not comes in. When you're sorting through inherited or sentimental items, I want you to ask yourself a few questions.
Do I know the story behind this? Would I share the story with someone else? And does this item represent something meaningful or am I just afraid of regret? So stories can be a really powerful way for you to talk yourself through. The decisions that ultimately will be of, of value to you long term.
Because what we're trying to do is for you to be as happy and fulfilled with the decisions that you make as you're letting things go, so that you don't regret or regret as minimal as possible. Because some of you, I know I've talked to many of you, you wanna keep it all, but sometimes that's not an option for you.
And it might not be best for not just your living situation, but some of the stuff. It's not really meant to be around long term, like some stuff was meant to be purchased, enjoyed and used, and then either discarded let go and the original manufacturer or makers of some of these items never intended for this to be a lifelong item.
Some of these are meant to be lifelong and heirloom type of items, but not everything. Okay? So we want to make sure that we're differentiating between the stories that are, that are of value to you and you cherish. You hold onto that and we make sure we pass that on, but that you are not tying the memory and the story to the actual item and then feeling guilty about letting it go.
Okay, so we, in this case, we want to separate them, tell our stories. Having that help you navigate towards helping you decide what to keep and what to not, to not to keep. If the story is powerful, consider keeping it or repurposing. So maybe digitize the photo album or frame one embroidered napkin instead of keeping 20.
If the story is powerful enough, like this is the story that you've told everyone, everybody knows you for this story. I mean, it's powerful, it's beautiful, and do you want to keep the momentum going? But you need to put some boundaries to that story as it pertains to the physical items that are representations of the story as an example.
If you have your, you know, your loved one's grandparents, let's say all of their kitchenware, some of that stuff is not even usable anymore. And as beautiful as it looks, and old fashioned and vintage and kind of old histories feel as much as like, that looks pretty, it might not be usable. So consider keeping it.
But in a repurposed way. So take a picture of it, digitize it, and keep the story alive, but let go of the actual item. So that's where those types of scenarios comes in. If there's no story, well, you know, you do have permission to let it go. If you wouldn't tell the story of this, like if you wouldn't tell the story or there is no story, then maybe this is a good opportunity for you to decide if this is truly an item that is making you happy.
And it fits your lifestyle. If you're keeping it out of guilt, but there's no story involved because you don't even know what it means, then maybe it's time to let it go. So that's what I mean about how stories can help you decide. So ask yourself, do I know the story behind this item? Would I tell this story to someone else?
And does this item represent a person or moment I want to remember. And is this the best way to honor that? Meaning can I digitize it? Can I honor it in different ways? I know of clients that have donated it to museums or local historical, historical places or societies so that they can place it under, you know, either like their museum.
Or have it be part of the history of the town of the area. So that's another way. Hi, cherish friends. Life can get overwhelming, especially when you're juggling caregiving, clutter and everything in between. That's why I created the Organizing Cherish Weekly email that goes out every Wednesdays straight to your inbox.
To help you keep the momentum inspiration going with tips and reminders of our upcoming events, all you have to do is head on over to organize and cherish.com and sign up for the email newsletter. It's free and you can up subscribe whenever you'd like. It's my way of helping you simplify your life and respecting memories along the way.
Now back to our show. So what do you do with the story? What we're talking about here is letting the story out and being told so that the item, the physical item, is not the representation of the story. Here are some quick ways that I have for you, but it depends on what type of story you have. Is it long?
Is it short? Is it more of a visual story? So this will depend on everyone's specific example or story or that you're trying to tell and we can talk about it more. You're always welcome to come join us for an organized and cherish chat. We have them every couple of weeks completely free, and then we can brainstorm.
But here's usually some good ways. Uh, first is to record it. So take a photo of the item and jot down the story. So either voice recording on your voice notes on your phone, or on video recording. Nowadays with technology, that is the be beautiful thing about technology advancing is that you have easy access to video, like a Zoom or Google Meet or something where you can record yourself or your phone.
Your phone camera has a video, right? So you can just record yourself showing and telling the story. So you don't need to keep a whole cabinet of the stuff to keep a loved one's memory alive. What you can do is just record the story and then show us what that. Cabinet or the items, if it's obviously a much bigger I type of item, like, like a furniture piece.
You can take a picture, you can show us around on your video camera. If you don't want to be on video, you can do it on voice and then keep a picture attached to the, um, video recording in that same file wherever you keep it, so you can record it. That way you can create a story shelf. This is like a good visual representation of the story, so instead of keeping an entire room.
Really big with like if you have trains, like many of our families will have the trains from their grandparents that they built or models of cars, and so they take up a lot of room, right? So choose a small space like a bookshelf or a tray or a corner, like something that's much smaller, a smaller representation of that life size scale that they had.
To display all of those, like the items that were, you know, keep a couple, so display a few, and then display the picture or like an album or something to that effect. But basically creating a story shelf, like an area that tells the story of it. Um, again, we, where I live actually here in Colorado, there are quite a bit of pe uh, people that used to work for air.
Or airplane industries just because of where we live. So quite a few of them will have like model airplanes and they have a lot of them and we can't keep them all as they're trying to downsize. So we create smaller representations of their collections and stories. Write the story down in a book or a journal or a photo album and let go of the rest.
Let it be intentional with the storytelling and make sure that whatever, however you're recording it. Keeping the memory alive does tell the story and you just keep some of the, you know, smaller items, but don't feel like you have to keep everything to tell the story because the i the items themselves, when your family or loved ones go in and you know, they take a look at your collection.
Or your clothing, or your furniture or whatever it is, it, it won't mean anything to them. They don't have the story behind it. So the story is going to be more important than the actual stuff. So now that you are going, keeping that in mind, now that you're going through all this stuff, if you don't have a story, because it's not your stuff, right?
It's like your loved ones, your parents, or mom and dads, or your grandparents stuff. So if you don't have the story that they left behind. Now your story is going to be a little different. Your story is probably going to be attached to the memory of them using it or playing, or you know, being in that area.
Like if it's, if we're going back to the model idea or the model example, if you, you remember your grandfather putting together all of those model cars and trains and you would come on the weekends and you would help him do it, and that's the memory. You don't need to keep all of the trains that he left behind.
Your story is the time spent with that person, and you can convey that story in a different way instead of trying to keep everything alive because the next generation, whoever is left behind with this stuff, they won't have that same memory that you have. They were not there for those weekends. As you put together, the model trains with your grandfather, so they don't know that story.
They will need a point of reference. So this is where tell the story, somehow pass it down, and then let go of the rest. Okay, let's talk about permission to finally letting go. So now that we've talked about letting the stories help you in your decluttering and downsizing journey, let's talk about the guilt piece of it, because it comes up a lot in the process.
You are not dishonoring your loved ones. By letting something go, I can tell you that right now you're making a decision that respects both them and you, especially if you did not originally purchase or make or pile all the stuff up. Like if it's not your stuff and it's somebody else's and you feel like you're disrespecting them because now you're, you know, you're going to throw away all of their hard earned money and effort and, and all of that.
Well, this is a way for you to keep a boundary for both of you if the story is meaningful. Like I, me, we mentioned before, let's preserve it. Let's figure out how to do that. If there's no story though, or if the story feels heavy or disconnected, you have permission to let it go. But if you want to keep the memory or the historical memory alive, whether you like it or not, because you think it's important to pass that story as a lesson learned or something to that effect.
Then have a, an outside point of view that is not you or someone that has more of a neutral standpoint over the situation. This comes up a lot with families that have inherited boxes of stuff from their past and, um, maybe different wars, different um, cultures, different places of the world where what they did or what they accumulated is controversial.
I can name a whole list of things, um, but I won't necessarily for this podcast. But some of those items, the families were, you know, they're not proud of, they don't necessarily, they certainly don't want to display it, but they understand that it's part of their history and it's part of their, um, their ancestors and they want to keep that part of the memory at least told but not alive.
So. That's where a neutral individual can come in to tell the story. Give them the boxes of stub, have them record it for you in a neutral way so that you can pass it on so that it's not lost, but you can let go of everything and not feel bad about it. And, uh, you know, make sure that that history is passed on.
This is where museums and historical societies come into play. They're a great resource for you, for neutrality or for the storytelling piece of it, when you don't want to keep it yourself when you're not proud of maybe what your ancestors did or accumulated, but you think it's important to tell that story.
So historical societies, um, museums, they will take on all of that stuff or most of that stuff, or will guide you towards where or who will be able to, you know, to take it. Keeping everything doesn't keep the person alive. Remember that I, I, I'll always be here to remind you of that. So living well and telling their stories and continuing to build your life, that's what's important.
That's how their legacy lives on, not by you keeping the physical item. So I wanna leave you with an actionable tip for the week. If you think that storytelling is a good way for you to let go, like you think that this practice might be helpful to you. Pick one item. Ask yourself, what's the story here?
Say it out loud, write it down, and then decide, do I want to keep the item or just the story? You might be surprised how freeing that moment can be. Okay, so that's it for this week. Thank you for spending time with Amme today. If this episode spoke to you. Let us know. I love your feedback. That really helps me understand what it is that is of value to you as I continue these episodes.
So please don't forget to either send us a message over at [email protected] or over on our social media profiles, which is at the organized flamingo. You can find more resources on letting go for serving memories and organizing with care, compassion and efficiency over at our website and all of our social media.
So until next week, happy organizing. Thank you for listening to the Organized and Cherish podcast with the Organized Flamingo. If you enjoy today's episode, I'd be so grateful if you left a rating and review on your favorite podcast player. It helps others discover our show. For full show notes, resources, and more organizing inspiration, visit www.theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast.
Until next time, happy organizing.
