The Sandwich Generation: It’s Nothing New, Just More Complicated

In the ever-evolving journey of life, certain life phases have always been present—marriage, divorce, moves, parenthood, and caring for aging parents. The Sandwich Generation, individuals caught between the responsibilities of living their own life, and caring for their children as well as their parents, is not a new phenomenon. However, it has become more complicated in our modern world. In this blog post, we'll delve into the challenges faced by the Sandwich Generation, focusing on how it relates to the physical stuff they manage and the importance of mindful decluttering when navigating this intricate balance.

The Traditional Responsibilities of the Sandwich Generation

Historically, the Sandwich Generation has existed, with individuals finding themselves “sandwiched” between caring for their aging parents and raising their own children or other loved ones. In earlier times, the challenges were there, but the complexities we face today, especially concerning physical possessions, have added a new layer to this age-old responsibility.

I should note here that the Sandwich Generation terms (because there are a few terms that branch off the main term) were introduced in the social term in 1981 and were added to the Webster's Dictionary in 2006. This blog post does not focus on the history of this generation but I thought it was important to note.

It's more than just “stuff”: The complexities the Sandwich Generation faces today

As we navigate the 21st century, the concept of the Sandwich Generation has evolved. Now, more than ever, it's about managing not just the emotional and financial aspects but also the sheer volume of physical possessions. With an abundance of “stuff” to handle—from family heirlooms to children's toys and everything in between—organizing has become an integral part of successfully navigating this challenging phase. There is:

  1. Multiplication of Possessions: In our modern world, possessions seem to multiply. Aging parents may have accumulated a lifetime of belongings, and raising children in a consumer-driven society means a constant influx of toys, gadgets, and clothing. Managing this accumulation is a significant challenge for the Sandwich Generation.
  2. Emotional Attachments: Possessions are not just objects; they carry emotional weight. Family heirlooms, childhood mementos, and sentimental items can clutter spaces, yes, but they are part of who we are. Deciding what to keep, what to pass on, and what to let go becomes a delicate task, requiring emotional discussions and thoughtful decisions.
  3. Time Constraints: Juggling caregiving responsibilities with careers and personal lives leaves the Sandwich Generation with limited time. The need for efficient organization becomes paramount to avoid chaos in the face of already overwhelming responsibilities.

How to make it less overwhelming

Having been in this profession for more than two decades, I can confidently say that the top emotions that contribute to the overwhelm of the Sandwich Generation and anyone having to deal with stuff that wasn't theirs are guilt and exhaustion (there are other emotions tied to the overwhelm but these are the roadblocks before taking any meaningful action).

Here are a few tips I have for you to reduce the overwhelm, guilt, and exhaustion and instead find peace and relief.

  1. Create a plan. Please don't miss this step. Assess how you are feeling and talk about your end goals. We have a full episode on our Organized & Productive Podcast exactly about how to create a plan and assess your organizing journey and projects. Episode 001: 7 Steps to Organizing *Almost* Anything gives you an overview and Episode 008: Step 1: Assess. The Power of Planning Ahead provides more detail on how to assess a project before you start.
  2. Boundaries. It can be really easy to want to keep everything in your space, but that just adds to the clutter. Without boundaries, you will get stuck in the clutter. Give yourself clear boundaries of how much stuff you can keep and how much attention you are willing to give to these items. Think about the storage fees, the cleaning efforts, and anything else that comes with keeping things (especially vintage and antique items). Boundaries are what will give you peace in the long run.
  3. Decide what is worth DIYing or Outsourcing. We have a great episode on this titled Episode 006: Should You Outsource or Do It Yourself? which gives you some questions to ask yourself when trying to decide if it's worth outsourcing or doing it yourself. If anything, at least think about this question and make sure that you are thinking about how much it will cost, do you want to do it or it best someone else takes care of it, how much you want to get involved, and how much time it will take.
  4. Bonus: if you have not processed the heavy emotions that come with acquiring clutter and physical stuff that wasn't yours, I would encourage you to see a mental health professional who specializes in these fields. Many pro organizers have the skills and training to coach you but make sure you tell them the emotional attachment is something you need help with.

The Sandwich Generation has always existed, but in the complexity of the modern world, the challenges have intensified. Navigating this phase requires a thoughtful approach to managing not only emotional and financial aspects but also the accumulated physical possessions. At The Organized Flamingo, as well as other pro organizers around the world, guide individuals in decluttering with purpose and heart. We create organized living spaces amidst the overwhelm. If you find yourself in this position, I see you and hope you have found a space within The Organized Flamingo where you feel seen and heard. What question can we answer that will help you through this process? Send us a note or comment here and let's work through this together.

Stephanie Y. Deininger, CPO®, MBA

Pro Organizer & Founder | The Organized Flamingo

Book Recommendations for the Sandwich Generation’s Decluttering Journey

Welcome to The Organized Flamingo's virtual cozy reading nook.

A place where we talk books that are great companions in your organizing journey as a caretaker.

Now, before you start thinking that I've become a literary genius overnight, let me clarify: I didn't write these books or here to become a literary critic. These are the books I believe will help you in your organizing journey as the sandwich generation.

In this blog post, we're diving into a curated list of reads that have been my trusted companions throughout my career and personal life.

Picture it: you're knee-deep in family responsibilities, surrounded by stuff, and wondering, “What on earth do I do with all this?”, “Can anyone relate to this?”. Rest assured, you are not alone.

Even though we offer professional organizing services and can do estate clear-outs, estate decluttering and home organizing for you, we know how difficult it can be to ask for help when you are not ready. These books will offer a friendly ear and perspective on how others have dealt with this same dilemma.

These are the books I would recommend to you as a companion to your organizing journey if you are a caretaker. You may be the person trying to make sense of what to keep and what to release. These books offer insights, tips, and maybe a sprinkle of humor.

While we do have an Amazon Storefront where you can purchase these ebooks and books from. You can also pick them up at most libraries, and we would recommend you do that first to make sure you want a copy. (Please note that I may earn commission from qualifying purchases on our Amazon Storefront. We only recommend books that we would recommend to our friends and loved ones)

The Mission:

For this ongoing post, I am your friendly book recommender, here to make your decluttering journey a bit easier. If you're figuring out what to do with all the things while straddling the generations, grab a comfy seat and get ready for some literary goodness. These are the books I'd recommend for your Sandwich Generation decluttering adventure.

The Books:

Please note that this is an ongoing blog post. I will keep adding books and editing as necessary.

At Home: A Short History of Private Life

At Home: A Short History of Private Life by Bill Bryson

This book is a great read if you enjoy knowing why things are the way they are. It's a longer read and full of random facts, which can be helpful as you are trying to understand how all the stuff you have fits in your life.

Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World by Dr. Lauren Cook

Generation Anxiety: A Millennial and Gen Z Guide to Staying Afloat in an Uncertain World by Dr. Lauren Cook

This book is aimed at the Millennials and Gen Z generations and dealing with Anxiety but I would recommend it to anyone. It is filled with why we get Anxiety and what to do about it. Also offers a lot of examples to help you understand the guilt that comes with being a caretaker.

“Don't Toss My Memories in the Trash” by Vickie Dellaquila

Don't Toss My Memories in the Trash: A Step-by-Step Guide to Helping Senior Downsize, Organize, and Move by Vickie Dellaquila

I read this book when I was studying for my CPO Exam with NAPO (Certified Professional Organizer). It's a compassionate book that explains what your loved ones may be going through as they realize they can't keep everything and start the process of downsizing

“Waste and Want: A Social History of Trash” by Susan Strasser

Waste and Want: A Social History of Trash by Susan Strasser

Susan Strasser writes great books for us to understand why aspects of our domestic life have come to be. Why certain roles are the way they are and this book follows that same storytelling. In this read she talks about the history of trash and things for us to think about. This book may take you on a fact-finding journey and inspire you to look at your stuff more mindfully.

Bibliostyle: How We Live at Home with Books by Nina Freudenberger

A book about books. Bibliostyle is about finding a way to showcase your books in a way that is representative of you and your style. An interesting look into the personal libraries of bibliophiles from all around the world. She writes and showcase how others categorize, shelve, organize and store their collections. Nina also spotlights the personal libraries of people whose owners care about their book collections (and have actually read them, too!). A great read for those of you who do want (and are able) to keep your books.

41: How to Keep Unwanted Critters Out of Your Storage Areas

This week, we're diving into the eerie realm of keeping pests out of our storage areas, pantries, and closets. We are sharing top tips for avoiding these little creepy crawlers and what to do if you do find them in your storage areas while organizing. Grab your brooms and get ready for some storage magic as we keep our spaces less eek! and more chic.

In this episode, we talk about:

  • Keeping your storage spaces organized, safe, and critter-free!
  • Tips for Preventing Water Damage
  • Preventing Pest Infestations

Mentioned in this Episode:

Keep or Toss Decision Tree

www.organizedandproductive.com/keeportoss

Garage & Basement Organizing Products on Amazon I recommend: Amazon Storefront Here (*earns commissions)

The Organized & Productive podcast is brought to you by The Organized Flamingo and hosted by Stephanie Y. Deininger! For those of you who love the thought of organizing & being more productive, but don’t know where to start or are constantly up against hurdles that don’t let you advance the way you want to, this podcast is for you!

Review full show notes and resources at https://theorganizedflamingo.com/podcast

Connect with Stephanie

https://www.instagram.com/theorganizedflamingo/

Timeless and Tidy: Using Antiques to Organize Your Space

November 2021

As you know, we talk a lot about Organizing that fits YOUR lifestyle here at The Organized Flamingo.  One of the ways you can incorporate organizing that fits your lifestyle is if you have vintage items that you have been storing and don't know what to do with.  

Laura Brock Va Beach and I had an Instagram IGTV session (which you can watch HERE) and talked all about how you can use vintage items to organize everyday items all while adding personality and dimension to your space.  

Laura is based in Virginia Beach, VA.  She has a shop called The House of Hanbury.  She sells vintage and antique items on her website and has two physical shops in Virginia Beach, VA. S he is an avid collector and it's in her genes!  Her mom was a designer, and her father was also an antique shopper, so it’s in her blood.  She loves the hunt and the history of vintage items.  With our lives moving so fast, she wants to show the world how you can use vintage items around your house. 

“Vintage has an emotional connection.”

– Laura Brock Va Beach

Here are 12 vintage Items you probably have around your house you can use to GoSo (Get Organized and Stay Organized).

  • Boxes – vintage wooden/brass/other boxes are great for storing old letters, in your front entry way to hold your mail, keys, bedside tables, vitamins, like a Milk Glass wedding Cake Box.  etc.  Asian Cricket Boxes brass.  Great for desk accessories, like tape.  They are breathable because they are vented.  If you are the type of person that doesn't like boxes because they won't remember what’s in them, what are tips to remember what's in them: painters tape is good to use because it wont leave residue.  Tins are another type of box.  
  • Ice Buckets – great to use to hold items in your kitchen and use for ice when needed.  Multifunctional.
  • Old planters.  Great in the bath to hold the bigger bottles, great for guest buckets.  Great for kitchen towels, wash rugs, brushes, exercise bands, 
  • Turntables – great for corner spaces, bathrooms, shelves that are too deep.  
  • Bowls, great for remotes, towels by the pool, on the way out the door
  • Plate Holder: great for holding magazines
  • Umbrella vases: great for toilet paper
  • Milk Glass ITems: great to display and use for small items like cotton balls, paper clips, 
  • Brass is very popular, durable and beautiful.  
  • Revere Bowl, good for sticky notes,  paperclips, and pins.  
  • Small trays as dish soap containers 
  • Busts to hold your jewelry

“Joy can come from the stories, not just from the physical look.”  

We also talked about the upkeep of vintage items.  Here are some things to consider for cleaning vintage items:

  • Ceramic and porcelain is durable for the most part and easy to watch.  Washed with soap and water.  Brash lids get polish cleaner.  If you don't like polishing, don't use silver or brass (unless you like the patina look on those materials).  If you use wipes, she recommends silver polish wipes
  • If you are storing food in a tin, use a plastic bag or liner. Be cautious of storing food in vintage items.  

“You are more motivated to organize when your storage solutions are pretty.  Pretty and useful is important.”

Remember, vintage items are one of those items that already exist so shop local, think vintage!


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IG: The House of Hanbury

Website: www.thehouseofhanbury.com

FREE Resources: 10 Ways to Decorate and Use Your Blue and White Chinioiserie

Virtual & In-Person Sell/Buy Marketplaces

Update: May 2024

If you are looking to either buy and/or sell items, We've put together a list of virtual marketplaces you can list and buy from. In addition, I've listed “buzz” words that are often used to help you in your search. Compare and look for the following:

Apps and/or Websites to sell/buy your items:

Websites or local types of shops that will buy your items. Not all places are created the same, so you may have to divide your items and sell them in different places for optimal value. (but if you don't care too much about how much you get, don't have the time or patience, then just pick one or two places)

Keywords to look for:

These are phrases or words to use when looking for the ideal place to sell or trade your items.

  • At home pick up
  • Listing items
  • Clothes into cash
  • Vintage Selling
  • Peer-to-peer resale
  • Online marketplace
  • secondhand item
  • pre-loved item

Do you have any other online marketplaces that deserve a spot on our list? Comment below!

Kindly, Stephanie + The Organized Flamingo Team